The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

A Housewarming Gift Guide For Everyone In Your Life, Even The People You Don't Really Like

By Fraylie Nord in Arts & Entertainment on Oct 24, 2016 6:00PM

This post is brought to you by the Gothamist content team.

Housewarming parties: the exhilarating occasion where you squander your feelings of apartment jealousy all in the name of well-wishing or an open bar. But remember, it's a celebration! Usually requiring you to buy a gift! But don't sweat it—because we've put together a handy gift guide for all the folks in your life who've swapped spots and are ready to nest. And if nothing here suits your fancy, may we caution you not to show up empty-handed: the least you can do is bring a six-pack to the party.

Housewarming Gift Ideas For Your New Downstairs Neighbor

new_downstairs_neighbor.jpg

  • A mini noise machine: No one wants to hear what their neighbors are up to, and with sounds like ocean, meadow, rainfall, you can help tune them out and keep your sanity.
  • A decorative welcome mat: You'll use it with abandon—it's on the way to your apartment anyway.
  • The perfect all-purpose cookbook: You'd like to inspire amazing kitchen wizardry and remind them you'd love to be invited over for dinner. You'll bring the wine.

Housewarming Gift Ideas For Your Best Friend

BestFriend.jpg

  • Champagne flutes and a bottle of bubbly: Because of course you'll want to celebrate together, immediately, in style.
  • A proper set of knives: Chef-worthy knives make all the difference if you're trying to amp up your cooking skills—and at this point, you should be able to trust your best friend with sharp objects. If not, you might need a new best friend.
  • A cozy throw blanket: It's one of those not-totally-necessary bed accessories, but come on, it's getting cold out, and this blanket looks so soft!

Housewarming Gift Ideas For That Person You Don't Really Like

person_you_dont_like.jpg

  • A single decorative plate: It's pretty enough to look like a well-intentioned gift, but incredibly impractical for anything but a solo dinner.
  • iTunes gift card: It's the gift that says "I really didn't think too much about this."
  • Swiffer starter kit: Certainly a practical gift, the kit implies that you might have a problem with the way this person does or does not clean. Oh well.

Housewarming Gift Ideas For Your Ex That You Still Kind Of Like

ex.jpg

  • Streaming TV Subscription: You mostly just want to hear the phrase, "Oh thanks, but I finally bought my own Netflix subscription last month."
  • Custom self-portrait: Your ex can hang by their bed to remind them how great you were. Just kidding. But these custom portraits are pretty neat for that personalized touch!
  • Polaroid camera: It's a little sentimental, sure, but maybe your ex will start to notice that there's a little something... missing from all those photographs.

Housewarming Gift Ideas For Your Sibling Who Just Moved Out Of Mom And Dad's House

sibling.jpg

  • A functional laundry bag: Mom isn't doing this anymore, and who knows if your sibling even has laundry in their new building. May as well help them schlep to the laundromat in style.
  • Cast iron pan: Perfect for cooking everything from pies to ribeye, these beauties require a little more TLC than your average non-stick. It's time to teach your sibling some responsibility!
  • Jade bonsai plant: Not only do these plants bring supposed good luck, they're difficult to kill for any first-time plant owners. Just give them plenty of sun and don't over-water!

Housewarming Gift Ideas For Your Coworker

coworker.jpg

  • A master cocktail book: Come on, we all know we drive our colleagues to drink liberally, and as a thanks for being a member of the dream team, they certainly deserve to drink well.
  • A classy french press: How many times have you both commiserated that your coffee "hasn't kicked in yet?"
  • A wine rack: Did you know if you keep your wine standing straight up, you run the risk of drying out the cork? So back to the theme of drinking, this wine rack is sure to make a statement—and keep your co-worker's booze happy.

Housewarming Gift Ideas For That Couple Who Just Had A Baby

couple_baby.jpg

  • The perfect baby blanket: Regardless of age, anybody who's anybody will want to snuggle up in this cozy comfort. Plus, you can really never have too many blankets this time of year.
  • Buy your friends a trip: This might sound antithetical to housewarming, as it's really more like houseleaving, but I've been told that newborns are excellent on planes, though it's a small window of opportunity before they get bigger and start running around. If this is not true, I'll just tell my brother he's lying to me.
  • Blue Apron subscription: Because let's face it, your friends are not going to have time to think much about food, and takeout Chinese is going to get real old, real fast.

Housewarming Gift Ideas For Your Parents Who Just Sold Your Childhood House, Trashed Your Pogs, And Bought A Condo

parents.jpg

  • A mini vacuum cleaner: If your parents are downsizing, why not also downsize to an adorable dust buster too? Those floors won't clean themselves!
  • Tea kettle and cup set: The house is sold! Finally, your folks can relax. What better way than over a warm up of herbal tea?
  • An air mattress: Because obviously your parents have sold your old bed frame, and this is a slightly better solution than sleeping on the couch during weekend visits.