We would like to take a moment to thank this week's advertisers on Chicagoist. The 2009 Toyota Corolla, which encourages you to "Live the Dream for Less Coin." Rothbury Music Festival, where you can see acts like the Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, Snoop Dogg, and many, many more. Busted Tees, which introduces three new designs a week. If you're interested in advertising on Chicagoist or any other site in our network, check out our......

We would like to take a moment to thank this week's advertisers on Chicagoist. The 2009 Toyota Corolla, which encourages you to "Live the Dream for Less Coin." Rothbury Music Festival, where you can see acts like the Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, Snoop Dogg, and many, many more. Missy Higgins, with an album that is available now. Busted Tees, which introduces three new designs a week. If you're interested in advertising on Chicagoist or......

In a situation only slightly less disgusting and tragically hilarious than the time Dave Matthews Band's waste landed on that tour boat, mysterious "splotches" over a three block radius in Lisle may be human poop and pee. Police in the western suburb are investigating a substance that landed on and often stained roofs, lawns, streets, cars, etc. The yellow and brown stains were described as "the size of the palm of [a] hand." While there's......

We're not sure which is our favorite part of this video. Is it the Golden Tee ref? Is it the man-on-man ass slap? The oral love for a former Packer in a Cracker barrel bathroom? The Trixie's embrace of her inescapable future? Dave Matthews-induced arousal? Grandma June's Sewing Circle appears at the Apollo Theater Studio Stage Saturdays through November 17.......

Chicagoist is a big cheerleader for the city, but there are some things that even we have a hard time getting excited about. Swimming in Lake Michigan or jumping into the Chicago River are two of them. Maybe it is the dumping. Or maybe it is (jump in the way-back machine, for a second with us) Dave Matthews Band. Or maybe it is the knowledge that every summer, the beaches are closed several times......

"I have one criteria, this is my one litmus test for guys and I could not marry someone if they didn’t pass this test. They can’t like Dave Matthews Band." That's a line from filmmaker Saya Hillman's documentary on the Chicago singles scene, dating rubik’s cube. Twelve people, ranging from twentysomethings to people in their early 40's, let loose about everything from the foibles of blind dates to married life (another sample quote: "I woke......

We’ve divided this week into the old, the in-between, and the young because we felt that the myriad of choices out there this weekend needed some sort of random pronouncement that really means nothing at all. Sorry ‘bout that, we may have just watched too much CSPAN yesterday and lapsed into nothing speak. The Old Psychedelic Furs June 29, House of Blues, $24.50-$26.50, 18+, on sale Friday at 10:00 a.m. Def Leppard, Styx, Foreigner –......

The Sun-Times reports that it won't be officially announced until Wednesday, but the City Council has made it pretty obvious that The Police will be playing Wrigley Field July 5 and 6. (Originally Dave Matthews had been in talks to do so, but, thank goodness, they and their over-exuberant bus septic system will be staying away from Chicago that weekend.) We have been stoked about this show since Wrigley was first rumored to be their......

We all know that lists are great for pulling in readers and encouraging debate. As a matter if fact, this trend has grown into obscenely silly proportions in the MS(music)M, but we suppose they will do whatever they can in an attempt to keep themselves fresh. We’re looking at you Blender, Q, Rolling Stone, and Entertainment Weekly. (We’re letting Time off the hook for this one since their recent music list was just so obviously......

Daley has been given the Ebenezer award for removing the film The Nativity Story from the list of sponsors of Christkindlmarket market. A local religious group plans to set up a DVD player and TV down there to show the Nativity Story movie trailer. Take that, Daley! No surprise, many Chicago restaurants are still serving foie gras. Not going to be a white Christmas. We're having the longest snow-free spell since 1993. Already? Tank......

Last month, Eric Zorn debuted a new Month in Review feature on his blog. He invited local bloggers and journalists to join him in discussing the month's hottest state and local news stories. This month Monsieur Zorn asked Chicagoist to participate. Below are our picks for July. Check Zorn's site tomorrow for his Monthly round up. Biggest Loser: Mayor Daley With the Feds coming in and busting up Chicago's political "boys club," Mayor Daley's approval......

Now that we’ve had a few days to process last weekend’s largely successful Lollapalooza festival we have a few observations to make as we wrap up coverage. First off, we are glad that it looks like the city is open to doing this whole shebang again next year. Hopefully if everyone can agree to terms far ahead of time with more leeway than, say, three weeks, Capital Sports and Entertainment will be more likely to......

20 years after the first Farm Aid concert occurred in Champaign, Illinois the concert is coming back to our fair state on September 18th at the Tweeter Center. So far the usual Farm Aid players are confirmed: Willie Nelson, Neil Young, John Mellancamp, and Dave Matthews. Wilco has also been slated. Tickets for the fundraising concert go on sale July 30th at 10 a.m. A contest from Organic Valley for free tickets is going......

It turns out the Dave Matthews Band aren't the only ones dumping poo into the Chicago River. Boating and river-based recreation have increased in recent years due to the well-documented improvement of the Chicago river, but things aren't actually as clean as they seem (and we know how, every time you stare into those murky, brown depths, cleanliness is the first thing that springs to mind). Apparently, during heavy rains, nearly 250 pipes funnel industrial......

Stefan Wohl, the (former) bus driver for the Dave Matthews Band, pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor counts: one for reckless endangerment and one for polluting a waterway for dumping 800 pounds of human waste (roughly the equivalent of DMB's recorded musical output) into the Chicago River. The deal keeps Mr. Wohl out of jail in exchange for 18 months of probation, 150 hours of community service in his home state and a $10,000 fine that......

We thought the (fecal) matter of Dave Matthews Band vs. The Lucky Lady architectural boat tour would go quietly into the cold, dark night. But apparently we were wrong. The Trib and Sun-Times are reporting that State’s Attorney Dick Devine will announce criminal charges against DMB bus driver (previously identified in civil suits as Stefan Wohl) in a news conference today. Violating the Wanda Sykes rule to stick with your lie, the band essentially......

Today is Festivus and we've been reading a lot lately about how all the cool kids are celebrating. It's easy. All you need is an aluminum pole to display unadorned. Local customs sometimes allow decorations, but they must be non-threatening plain decorations, and tinsel is absolutely banned. What? It's distracting! At Chicagoist's Festivus party we would ask everyone invited (all of you!) to contribute to The Human Fund and the money would really go to......

In its latest PR volley, the Dave Matthews Band donated $50,000 on Friday to both the Chicago Park District and the Friends of the Chicago River organization to “begin the healing process” resulting from the alleged dumping of 800 pounds of raw sewage by a driver of their tour bus. The park district and the Friends of the Chicago River say the donated money will be used for environmental programs that will insure the long-term......

Now that the fall has arrived, it’s time to put away all those memories of summer fun like laying out on the beach, road tripping across America and cruising on the Chicago River before getting pooped on by the Dave Matthews Band. If you read between the lines of this brief Chicago Tribune article, it’s obvious that DMB have finally owned up to their role in the incident and are trying to find the least......

� Chicagoist is looking for new contributors! � Dave Matthews Band offers to take DNA test to clear up their involvement in the poop scandal � Will a U of C law student be the next Apprentice? � Alan Keyes calls homosexuality "selfish hedonism," fails to win our hearts � Chicago gets its own Enron � Burt Natarus wants to crack down on panhandling......

Can we please oh please stop using the word �dumping� in the coverage of this Dave Matthews Band poop-shedding thing? �Matthews band tackles bus-dumping issue on Web site," "Band to give DNA in bus dump case,� �Dave Matthews Band issues statement about waste dump��these are just a few of the choice headlines about the incident. Are we the only ones who find this fucking hilarious? Maybe it�s because we�re the dorkfaces who still laugh when......

Don�t forget: the first ever Chicagoist Happy Hour is tonight! We�re deliriously excited to meet everyone, so come on by the Happy Village bar (1059 North Wolcott) tonight anytime after 8. Come find us out in the �beer garden,� which is just a paved-over backyard, but a lovely one at that. There�s a bug zapper and everything. We're also a little in love with those tiny beer icons; were they made in KidPix or something?......

While their bus drivers vehemently denied that had anything to do with the incident at the time, on Tuesday Illinois Atty. General Lisa Madigan announced that a civil complaint was filed against the Dave Matthews Band Inc. and Stefan A. Wohl, the driver of the bus. Accused of polluting the river by illegally dumping "liquid waste'' from the septic tank of the bus, the band could face $60,000 in fines related to the incident. In......

� Happy Hour coming up! � Everyone loves The Onion � A tour boat gets doused with sewage, possibly from Dave Matthews Band's bus � Chicagoans don't read much, but at least we use protection � Alan Keyes gets the party started � Goldfish Day will never be the same � The Field Museum is raising its prices � Don't forget to watch the Olympics......

We've been saying that Dave Matthews Band is a bunch of shit-soaking garbage for a long time, and now we might have proof. Sunday afternoon, about 80 people aboard Chicago's Little Lady on the river were soaked in a "'brownish-yellow'" substance that rained down from the bridge above, apparently after a bus or two drove across. (The Sun-Times calls the boat the First Lady, but the details are hardly the important element here.) More than......