This Monday, Oprah opened the floodgates for pushy stage moms everywhere with the “World’s Smartest and Most Talented Kids” show, featuring freakishly amazing children hand-selected from thousands of video submissions. The cute-but-tame, pint-sized b-boy and tap dancer along with the demon child hula hooper kept us entertained in the beginning, but the talent show took an awkward turn when the 11-year-old yodeling sensations took the stage. Instead of letting Taylor Ware and her Pippy Longstocking pigtails have their moment, Oprah had the yodelette give the entire audience a lesson, making the whole room “littleoldladyheewhooo” about 16 times before she cut to commercial. Oy. The absolute stunner of the show was little Connie Talbot, the seven-year-old British singing sensation, whose head shaking-induced vibrato in her rendition of “Ben” wiggled its way into our hearts.
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Oh Lord here we go. The highly-anticipated “sex show” finally premiered on Monday, and we were all ready to cover our ears from Oprah’s awkward interjections of anatomical misnomers. But we admit, we sold Oprah a little short on this one. What we assumed would be a “vajayjay” festival was actually an intelligent and frank discussion about the state of sexuality in America and what we can do to improve it. Apparently there’s no time like the present, since according to Oprah’s guest, sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman (pictured right), a whopping 1 in 5 couples are in sexless marriages. If avoiding that fate isn’t enough to get you bouncing around the bedroom, consider what else we learned: sex can make you look 7-12 years younger, make your immune system 33% stronger, cause a 50% decrease in heart disease, lessen stress, insomnia, and even relieve menstrual cramps and headaches. Sign us up! Guests Tom and Debra, who win the most courageous couple on the planet award, joined Oprah to discuss their sex life dropping to absolute zero. The pair braved cameras for a few sessions with Dr. Berman, who gave them some handy tips. First, Dr. Berman encourages couples to share fantasies, but in an environment of safety and trust. That means you can’t judge your partner when he asks you to dress up as a Ninja Turtle and spank him. For women specifically, look at your vulva and identify the parts. “Love your vulva,” she told us. Ok, so there was one cringe-worthy moment.
