It might, if the government is to be believed. As swine flu escalates, leveling everything and everyone in its path, the wide-spread absences that have shut down schools might also lead to similar wide-spread absences in offices across the country. And what will millions of bored, sick, bed-ridden Americans do to pass the time? Why take to the internet, of course. And such simultaneous web-surfing could overload the information super highway, crashing the web for people all around the world. The Government Accountability Office issued a 77-page report that sets guidelines as to how we can all help, including "voluntary public reduction of Internet use," and trying to "limit video streaming, gaming and peer-to-peer and other bandwidth-intensive applications during daytime work hours." Right, that'll happen.

Weekend Diversion: Night Of The Ponies
Now you can: In a book! That he probably won't read. Though maybe he will, since we expect that, like many Americans, he'll be unemployed for a while and will have more free/vacation time than he had even as president.