This is your first movie. One of your co-stars was supposed to have the lead, but you got it instead. The resentment is as thick as pea soup (which, incidentally, is the color of your wardrobe). The director refuses to let you leave the set, insisting you inhabit the role 24 hours a day, and his production supervisor lords over everything with an iron fist. On top of all that, you have to spend a... more ›

The Pre-Show Ah, what to say. Everyone looks so...puffy. We're watching WGN because...well, we can't find the remote honestly. 6:10 PM - Do you even have the right to complain about cheesy presenters if you're watching an Oscar pre-show? Isn't that like visting a dominatrix and complaining about the pain? Still, we have a deep burning hatred of Sam Rubin. 6:17 PM - Hilary Swank going against the grain with no cleavage display. Wearing drapes... more ›