Saturday's roller derby contest between the Windy City Rollers All-Stars and the L.A. Derby Dolls All-Stars is going to have a neat little wrinkle that's a throwback to the sport's past. The two teams will be skating on a banked track.
Windy City Rollers Tackle the Banked Track Saturday
Properly Sauced: The Jägerbomb
Sometimes you just need to face reality and come to terms with the fact that when you're thisclose to 40 like us, you need a little kick in the ass to get you to sunrise. Gone are the days when we had the world by the curlicues, when Mom lived equidistant between Marie's Riptide Lounge and the old Blue Note on Armitage, and we could stagger out of either establishment at sunrise for some biscuits and gravy.
New In Snack Food: Caffeine-Infused Chips
Hmmm...how to make an already not-so-healthy product even worse for you? Add a shit-ton of caffeine, of course! The creators of Engobi (short for Energy Go Bites) have done just that with their new line of caffeine-infused snack chips. Each 1.5 ounce single serving bag has 140 mg of caffeine, making it stronger than a serving of brewed coffee, Redbull, espresso, regular Jessie Spano–strength caffeine pills, etc. Flavors come in Lemon Lift and Cinnamon Surge, which sounds almost as delicious as Mountain Dew flavored Doritos.
Do You Want Fries and a Red Bull With That?
McDonald's is going to start selling Red Bull and a variety of other beverages in 150 test markets, and might revise its "beverage plans" in the next year or two. They could start selling boiled kitten juice and we wouldn't care, as long as they don't change their magical Diet Coke recipe—DCs from McD's just taste better than all other Diet Cokes for some reason.
Is Faux Red Bull Red Bullshit?
Red Bull has won a $680,000 lawsuit against Wet, a Loop bar that served its clubby patrons a different energy sauce when they ordered Red Bull. A manager at the company was at Wet and asked for a vodka Red Bull. She was served a vodka...Other Thing. From the Trib:
Quick Bites
Fire Coach Resigns to Take New York Red Bulls Job
The Chicago Fire have confirmed that Head Coach Juan Carlos Osorio has resigned and is headed to the New York Red Bulls for the 2008 season. Osorio, who joined the Fire mid-season last year, was just the third head coach in the franchise history. Osorio cited "personal, family reasons" that led to his decision to depart the Fire before his contract ended. It had been rumored that his wife was unhappy in Chicago and prefers...
Elsewhere in the Ist-a-verse
Happy first weekend of September - and happy Labor Day weekend, too, for our American cities! Let's take a look at what's been happening around the Ist-a-verse. The deaths of two firefighters shook Bostonist this week. Boston's firefighters bent over backwards all week long - first, they fought flames pouring from the Boston Tea Party museum, and then a restaurant fire killed two and injured many more. Their efforts make everything else - like Tom...
Red Bulls Stampede the Fire
The Chicago Fire continued on a downward spiral last night losing to the New York Red Bulls, their fourth straight loss. Seventeen-year-old Red Bull, Jose Altidore, took a break from his busy high school life, he had prom last Saturday and graduates high school this Saturday, to score the eventual game winner against the Fire. His goal came just over one minute into the game. Juan Pablo Angel did not want to be outdone so...
The Case for Flavored Vodkas
If you've been reading Chicagoist's "Beer of the Week" series from its inception, you'll remember that one of our primary rules of alcohol consumption is if you're old enough to legally order something like Sparks, Long Island iced teas, vodka and Red Bull, frozen cocktails, any drink that ends with the word "bomb," or any cocktail containing Southern Comfort, you're old enough to know better. So where does that leave all you folks who...
Elsewhere in the Ist-a-verse
Let's take a look back at a week that raised this Zen koan: if Kevin Federline got into a wrestling ring with a wrestler, who would you root for?
Cocaine: Gateway Drink or Genius Marketing?
Chicagoist has a dark sense of humor. And, we’ve got a hardcore caffeine habit. Lucky for us, the two now come in a controversial 8.4-ounce can. Las Vegas-based Redux Beverages recently rolled out their marketing campaign for the new energy drink Cocaine. It compares in calories to Red Bull (only 70 vs. Red Bull’s 80) but weighs in with 350 percent more caffeine (280 mg, about the same as four espresso shots). The drink also boasts an instant rush with no crash.
Does This Energy Drink Make Me Look Fat?
If you're having trouble fitting into those hip-huggers, ladies, you might want to lay off the Jaeger bombs and vodka/Red Bulls for a while (one of many reasons you should). This Gannett News Service story - which also ran in yesterday's Sun-Times - states that the Food and Drug Administration has no guidelines to define an energy drink. Nutritionists interviewed for the article state that the energy these drinks give consumers comes mainly from carbohydrates...
There's Always Barber College
Marshall Field coined the phrase "Give the lady what she wants", which later morphed into the more inclusive "the customer is always right", under protege H. Gordon Selfridge. However, if you are, or have ever been, a bartender, you know that's bullshit. You've had those moments where you just wanted to smack the taste out of someone's mouth, because they're giving you grief for not carrying Red Bull. But, because it's your job, you suck it up, take the abuse, and their money.
Chicagoist's "Beer of the Week": Trumer Pils
There's a longstanding quote attributed to Benjamin Franklin that states, "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Although Chicagoist's belief in a higher power is suspect, we agree with the rest of Big Ben's wisdom. Beer - and other malt beverages - is also a much discussed subject among the Chicagoist staff. One staffer is obsessed with the alcoholic energy drink known as "Sparks"; just can't get enough of...
Fire Gear Up for 2006 Season
The Chicago Fire are less than three weeks away from their 2006 season opener at FC Dallas. The Fire have had a productive pre-season thus far winning five games, losing only two and earning four draws. In those eleven games they have outscored their opponents 16 to 11. The Fire will start the season with a grueling nine game road trip before they can christen their new soccer-specific stadium. If the Fire can win a...
More Like B-to-the-Arf?
Chicagoist can't help but chuckle when big companies try to get down with the young folks, and the Tribune reports today on the latest in what's surely going to be the new cool thing that all the cool companies are doing to be so cool with the coolness. Chilly chilly. Phat. Pimpin.
Emmy Wrap-Up
Last night's Emmys were kind of a snoozefest, but in case you're headed to an awards show in the near future, here are a few tips we gleaned:

