Emmy Nominations, Blow by Blow

By Margaret Lyons in Arts & Entertainment on Jul 15, 2004 8:49PM

Emmy nominations came out today, and if only to prove how much TV we can watch, we’re going to weigh in on just about everything. We’ll do this again right before and probably right after the Emmys, too. So stay tuned. Unfortunately, one of our favorite shows wasn't eligible this time around, so we'll take a second to think fondly of "Six Feet Under. "Our favorites are in bold.

Drama Series: "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS; "Joan of Arcadia," CBS; "The Sopranos," HBO; "24," Fox; "The West Wing," NBC.

Joan of Arcadia? Methinks this is an example of Opus Dei controlling the Emmy noms. “JoA” is goodish, but definitely not better than “Nip/Tuck” and “Gilmore Girls.” It’s not even better than “Playmakers.” Minus that, though, we’d be pretty happy with any of these. Well, not “West Wing.” That show blew goatass this season. You can’t fuck with “The Sopranos,” but this season just felt labored and cold. We know that that was the point, but it really limited the range of the show, and it limited the actors too. Playing “grouchy/moody” for an entire season, while Very Dramatic, gets a little taxing. “CSI” is not as good as “The Sopranos” in terms of acting or character depth, but the plot-driven formula does work for them. The characters are interesting, it builds suspense, it’s entertaining as hell, but it totally won’t win. Also, where is "The Shield"? "The Shield" is gripping, filthy, exciting, and wonderfully acted. WTF.

Comedy Series: "Arrested Development," Fox; "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; "Sex and the City," HBO; "Will & Grace," NBC.

Let’s hope this Emmy nod puts “Arrested Development” into the collective consciousness of the viewing public. David Cross is our secret asshole boyfriend, and as annoying and lame as Portia de Rossi is, she’s pretty hot. “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is hard to beat, though, and we'd be OK with them, too. "Will & Grace" is just starting to hurt.
(let the fun continue after the jump)

Miniseries: "American Family — Journey of Dreams," PBS; "Angels in America," HBO; "Horatio Hornblower," A&E; "Prime Suspect 6: The Last Witness (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; "Traffic: The Miniseries," USA.

We fell asleep no more that 15 or 20 minutes into “Horatio Hornblower.” It seems a little unfair to make other shows compete with “Angels in America.”

Variety, Music or Comedy Series: "Chappelle's Show," Comedy Central; "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Show No. 8037," Comedy Central; "Late Night With Conan O'Brien," NBC; "Late Show With David Letterman," CBS; "Saturday Night Live," NBC.

We would have launched a major protest if “Chappelle’s Show” hadn’t made this list.

Actor, Drama Series: James Spader, "The Practice," ABC; James Gandolfini, "The Sopranos," HBO; Kiefer Sutherland, "24," Fox; Martin Sheen, "The West Wing," NBC; Anthony LaPaglia, "Without a Trace," CBS.

James Spader: maybe too creepy to give awards to. Creepy in a cool and vaguely sexy (shut up) way, but still. We’re going to pull for Kiefer Sutherland, but we’d be OK with James Gandolfini. We're missing Michael Chiklis, though.

Actress, Drama Series: Jennifer Garner, "Alias," ABC; Amber Tamblyn, "Joan of Arcadia," CBS; Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," NBC; Edie Falco, "The Sopranos," HBO; Allison Janney, "The West Wing," NBC.

Jennifer Garner? Sure, lots of people think she’s hot (so not hot! hello!) and really like “Alias” and all, but come on, that woman cannot act. At all. If this was an award for “best pouter” or “buffest shoulders” we’d understand. Amber Tamblyn and Mariska Hargitay, while both not that bad, are just there to fill up the slots.

Supporting Actor, Drama Series: Victor Garber, "Alias," ABC; Brad Dourif, "Deadwood," HBO; Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos," HBO; Steve Buscemi, "The Sopranos," HBO; John Spencer, "The West Wing," NBC.

Michael Imperioli, holy shit. Christuphuh was the only male character on “The Sopranos” who had a standout season. We were blown away by the subtly and oddly compassionate acting from Imperioli this season.

Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Robin Weigert, "Deadwood," HBO; Tyne Daly, "Judging Amy," CBS; Drea de Matteo, "The Sopranos," HBO; Janel Moloney, "The West Wing," NBC; Stockard Channing, "The West Wing," NBC.

Being the best actor on the best show better be enough for Drea de Matteo to win. She was unreal.

Actor, Comedy Series: Larry David, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; John Ritter, "8 Simple Rules," ABC; Kelsey Grammer, "Frasier," NBC; Matt LeBlanc, "Friends," NBC; Tony Shalhoub, "Monk," USA.

“Monk” is so good. Shalhoub won last year, and it was well deserved. His nuanced, believable performance of an OCD is likable in a way we never expected. He makes Monk sweet and endearing even though the character could be played as so annoying you want to die. Larry David is very good, too, and there's nothing really wrong with Matt LeBlanc or Kelsey Grammer. John Ritter, we know you're dead, but...your show is not funny.

Actress, Comedy Series: Patricia Heaton, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Jennifer Aniston, "Friends," NBC; Bonnie Hunt, "Life With Bonnie," ABC; Jane Kaczmarek, "Malcolm in the Middle," Fox; Sarah Jessica Parker, "Sex and the City," HBO.

SJP was a little spaced out this season, making Carrie even more unlikable, if that was even possible. Bonnie Hunt is extremely awesome, but her show was awful—can we give an Emmy for general coolness and shock that you’re not a bigger star? No? Oh well. Patricia Heaton loses major celeb cred by doing ads for Jewel.

Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Jeffrey Tambor, "Arrested Development," Fox; Brad Garrett, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Peter Boyle, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; David Hyde Pierce, "Frasier," NBC; Sean Hayes, "Will & Grace," NBC.

Meh.

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Doris Roberts, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Kim Cattrall, "Sex and the City," HBO; Kristin Davis, "Sex and the City," HBO; Cynthia Nixon, "Sex and the City," HBO; Megan Mullally, "Will & Grace," NBC.

Nixon’s Miranda had a big year, and the changes were reflected in her more subdued, but still sharp and funny, performance. We’d give her an Emmy just for the scene where she’s giving Steve’s mom a bath on the last episode. We cried and cried, shouting, “Don’t put fucking sad stuff on this comedy, you assholes.” And...scene.

Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Antonio Banderas, "And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself," HBO; Al Pacino, "Angels in America," HBO; James Brolin, "The Reagans," Showtime; Alan Rickman, "Something the Lord Made," HBO; Mos Def, "Something the Lord Made," HBO.

Please. So obvs.

Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Emma Thompson, "Angels in America," HBO; Meryl Streep, "Angels in America," HBO; Glenn Close, "The Lion in Winter," Showtime; Helen Mirren, "Prime Suspect 6: The Last Witness (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; Judy Davis, "The Reagans," Showtime.

We could flip a coin here between Meryl and Emma, but we were really into Thompson’s biker nurse. Who doesn’t speak Hebrew.

Supporting Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Patrick Wilson, "Angels in America," HBO; Justin Kirk, "Angels in America," HBO; Ben Shenkman, "Angels in America," HBO; Jeffrey Wright, "Angels in America," HBO; William H. Macy, "Stealing Sinatra," Showtime.

Again with the coins. As much as we liked “Angels in America” it sometimes got bogged down in own fantasy, in its own holy-shit-I’m-good. Wright kept it accessible.

Supporting Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Mary-Louise Parker, "Angels in America," HBP; Angela Lansbury, "The Blackwater Lightship (Hallmark Hall Of Fame Presentation)," CBS; Julie Andrews, "Eloise at Christmastime," ABC; Anne Heche, "Gracie's Choice," Lifetime Television; Anjelica Huston, "Iron Jawed Angels," HBO.

MLP was not even that good, but Emmy voters are probably just checking every box that says “Angels in America.”

Outstanding Reality Program: “Colonial House , “PBS ; “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,” ABC; “Penn & Teller: Bullshit!”, Showtime; “Project Greenlight”, HBO; “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy”, Bravo.

How in the world did “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” make this list? That show is lame and boring, and in a field of home improvement shows, doesn’t even come in in the top three.

Outstanding Reality-Competition Program: “The Amazing Race,” CBS; “American Idol,” FOX ; “The Apprentice,” NBC; “Last Comic Standing,” NBC; “Survivor,” CBS.

“The Apprentice,” while awful and sad and repellant in all the right was, was dead on. That show had all the best of reality competitions: villains, bitches, short skirts, ridiculous tasks, and a huge, huge prize.

OK, let the floodgates open: what'd we miss?