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Keyes, Obama Getting Hot and Heavy

By Margaret Lyons in News on Aug 10, 2004 12:11PM

2004_08_10.sweat.jpgGross. So effing gross, holy shit. Alan Keyes's sweat-soaked napkin (we're actually considering barfing right now) isn't cheap—it's already up to $465. Damn, Republicans and sweat fetishists have a lot of cash to burn. That's Gerry McGlothlin at the right (and probably on the right, snap!), who told the Trib "he wiped the sweat from Keyes' brow with a napkin so he would look better for TV news cameras." Um, McGlothlin wiped Keyes's brow for him? And kept the napkin? Somebody's got a crush!

But sweat auctions aside, Keyes and Obama let the games begin yesterday, each taking the other to task for being too extreme and not in touch with what voters are looking for. A major point of contention was abortion rights, which Obama supports and Keyes, you know, not so much. "Obama's support of abortion rights means he 'opposes the great American principles that led to the abolition of slavery,' Keyes said," which confused Chicagoist for a second cause when you're reading about abortion and you see 'abolition,' it throws you.

2004_08_10.bestlogoever.gifThe candidates also went back and forth over the number of debates to be held, with Keyes asking for the six once promised Ryan, and Obama committing only to the two already scheduled. "Obama…joked that the offer for six debates was a "special for in-state residents,'" and said that there wasn't enough time to have six debates. Is it coincidence that last night's West Wing rerun on Bravo was "The Red Mass" episode where they try to decide how many debates to have with Ritchie? They decide to have only one, but the President gets to pick the format, so he picks ass-kicking. Oops, spoiler.

Keyes made the Fox News rounds yesterday and accused Sean Hannity of being a bad listener.

KEYES: You don't listen, I think, sometimes, folks in the media. This is what I don't understand. I did not say . . .

HANNITY: I listen very well, Alan.

KEYES: Can I answer please?


Let's just hope that Keyes's website launches soon, although…we are pretty into the "Download! Duplicate! Disseminate!" encouragement.