Seriously, We Want To Go

By Margaret Lyons in News on Aug 13, 2004 12:38PM

Can anyone give Chicagoist a ride to Springfield? We really, really want to go to the Illinois state fair this weekend, if only to see the new and improved butter cow. Well, that and Clay Aiken. Eh, the cow, Clay, and "The Beast, A 150-foot-long exhibit... that lets visitors walk through the creature and see its heart and other innards." Aow, we love innards. We’ll pay for gas?

This year’s theme is “Illinois…Start Your Engines,” which goes against Chicagoist’s theory that the theme for every event should always be “Enchantment Under the Sea.” We guess starting our engines is kind of festive, but we doubt McFly would stand for it. In honor of the theme, this year's fair will feature a "demolition derby, monster truck shows, auto racing... and more harness racing than in the past."

The state fair didn’t go all that well last year: there were drug and gambling scandals. Well, a cow-drug scandal. And a lack-of-promised-gambling scandal. So, you know, fair-style fuck ups. Things should be getting back to normal this year, so on Saturday, be ready for the Battle of the Bands. If there’s anything we know about concerts it’s that they’re even better when they start at 10 a.m. Mmm. Rise and shine, rockstars.

Festivities run through August 22, and if you think we’re not going to keep you posted, you are so so wrong. This weekend’s highlight, other than Clay Aiken, will definitely be the hog-calling and husband-calling contests on Sunday. Out of curiosity, do hogs, like, actually come when people call them? Or is this more like a yodeling contest?

Indiana and Wisconsin also have their state fairs this week, which means that the carnie population in the Midwest is spread really thin right now. If you’re looking to rent a cotton candy machine or to meet a pro wrestler, you’re outta luck.