We Smell a This Is Grand Story...

By Margaret Lyons in Miscellaneous on Aug 30, 2004 6:00PM

Is this article a joke? We can’t quite tell. It’s not actually funny ha-ha enough to be a good joke, but it’s not particularly sound dating advice worthy of print in a respectable newspaper. Well, it does interview that one guy who talked to a girl once on the L.

Ah, men, the only creatures that understand rejection. Why do we need the newspaper to start telling us to pick up ladyfriends on the L? Because…

Most men can relate to the dejection of going home after a long night of getting the cold shoulder from the opposite sex, clothes reeking of stale cigarettes and the ground spinning from one too many beers.

If a guy who’s so drunk the ground is spinning, who reeks of stale cigarettes (why not just regular cigarettes? who smokes only stale cigarettes?), who is often rejected by women approaches you on the L, definitely, definitely get his number. That guy is a hot ticket who should in no way set off your “vaguely rape-y” alarm. That’s just a guy who’s tired of the lame-o bar scene and wants to meet a nice woman who happens to enjoy public transportation. Let a playa play.

But the Red Line is so long and it has so many stops. Journalists, help us! Where more specifically on the Red Line should we be looking?

Keep your eyes open from Chicago through Sheridan. Belmont always has women from all areas of the city on the platform, and Addison is especially fun during a Cubs game.

See, again, this is why we’re not sure if this is a joke. Addison isn’t especially fun during a Cubs game, it’s just especially crowded. And you’re especially likely to get barfed on or yelled at. It’s not that it’s a bad place to meet dates, it’s just not somewhere we’d single out as an unusually good or desirable place to do so. Plus, what, no love for the South Side?