Alan Keyes, How Is Your Nickname Not AK-47?
By Margaret Lyons in News on Sep 1, 2004 2:35PM
Were trying hard here at the Chicagoist offices to be respectful of lots of different political views, but there comes a time when we need to be upfront: Alan Keyes is totally fucking crazy. First, Alan Keyes flipped out at a reporter from the Trib; now, hes gone the extra mile by calling homosexuality selfish hedonism. Well played, Alan. Moderate conservatives eat that shit up. Yes, gay marriage is an important topic this year, and its worth debating on lots of levels, but were pretty sure that this is over the line.
Keyes was being interviewed Monday night for SIRIUS OutQ, a satellite radio station geared towards GLBT issues. The interview was about his position on gay marriage, which heguess what?opposes, and Keyes delivered these charming nuggets of grace and wisdom:
The essence of family life remains procreation. If we embrace homosexuality as a proper basis for marriage, we are saying that it's possible to have a marriage state that in principal excludes procreation and is based simply on the premise of selfish hedonism.
Is Mary Cheney a selfish hedonist?
Of course she is. That goes by definition. Of course she is.
I don't think Dick Cheney would like to hear that about his daughter.
Dick Cheney may or may not like to hear the truth, but it can be spoken.
Come on, thats not fair, give him another chance to rephrase that a day later, after hes had an opportunity to reconsider his language and phrasing:
I have said that if you are actively engaging in homosexual relations, those relations are about selfish hedonism If my daughter were a lesbian, I'd look at her and say, That is a relationship that is based on selfish hedonism. I would also tell my daughter that it's a sin, and she needs to pray to the Lord God to help her to deal with that sin.
Nice, Alan. Really nice. Youre winning over Republicans from sea to shining sea, like John McCain, who expressed his high hopes for you by saying, I think it's clear we lose Illinois. Is anyone else dying for Ali G to interview Keyes? Respek.