Cremains of the Day
By Margaret Lyons in Miscellaneous on Sep 7, 2004 5:16PM
Boy oh boy, we learn something new about Chicago several times per day. Today, clocking in right at 11:35, we learned that the Cremation Association of North America is based right here in the Windy City. How bout that? Yup, CANA is at 401 North Michigan, a mere hop skip and a fiery furnace away from such ordinary pleasures as Nordstroms or the Tribune building.
Let's pause to give a special thanks to the Trib for alerting us to trends in cremation. We were feeling kinda slow this morning, having trouble getting going, but this story on getting our ashes made into fashion jewelry for our loved ones in really helping us get the juices juicing. The article tells us all about the variety of options post-cremation. You can have your earthly vessel dispatched into the sky via biodegradable balloon, for example. Or you can have your ashes shot into space, a la Timothy Leary. You can have them mushed into a diamond, too, to make the jewelry.
Â…depending on the point of view, [these options are part of] a head-scratching, macabre trend or a refreshing, even uplifting, way to find closure. People increasingly are choosing offbeat, personalized ways to handle the ambivalence of cremated remains, often called "cremains," and savvy entrepreneurs are responding.
Anyone else just shudder? We're not super squeamish or anything, but yeesh. Cremains is maybe the worst word ever. Even if you want the traditional urn action after you're cremated, you can still show off your creative side post-death with an urn that resembles "a pool table, a grand piano, a cowboy boot and the increasingly popular golf bag." Or you can show off your lazy side, which may or may not have contributed to your untimely death, with an urn that includes "the mounting of a beloved's favorite TV remote." We call the cable/TV remote! Yeah, you ain't shit without that remote, and we're taking it with us to the other side. Enjoy the DVD remote, stupid alive sucka.