Emmy Wrap-Up

By Margaret Lyons in Arts & Entertainment on Sep 20, 2004 2:57PM

Last night's Emmys were kind of a snoozefest, but in case you're headed to an awards show in the near future, here are a few tips we gleaned:

1.Write a speech. That's just a nice gesture, a way to show everyone that you're a professional; even if you forget it part way through, at least you will have thought about it before hand. On the same note, do not bring an index card—v.v. tacky. You're an actor: memorize that shit. If you're not an actor and you won for something else, you can still memorize at 40 second speech.

2. Not to be a total dad here, but do not chew gum on stage. The only way for that to be tackier would be for you to spit your gum into the index card your speech is written on, and even then, you'd still be only a half a Red Bull shy of full-on utter trashitude.

3. Reverse cleavage is the new butt cleavage which was the new regular cleavage. We hope this doesn't mean that reverse butt cleavage is next.

Hit Gothamist for the play-by-play and the Sun-Times for a solid critique. Also, our picks weren'tthat far off. Holla.