This Just In: Candy is Delicious
By Margaret Lyons in Food on Oct 26, 2004 5:02PM
We heard something about an election coming up, but what we're really excited to vote against is candy corn—thanks to a Trib poll, our voice can be heard on this important issue. Candy Corn Is Disgusting, holy crap. So disgusting. Go forth and vote!
The article also has a pretty cute candy round-up, which hits close to Chicagoist's heart today. Well, as close to our heart as anything can get via our ultra-clogged arteries: we've been doing a little pre-Halloween candy sampling ourselves. We bought "treats" for the "kids," so…yeah, there's an industrial size bag of Snickers, Twix, and Peanut M&Ms that now lives on our coffee table. Those little kids in costumes better hurry if they want any because shit is going fast.
One Trib staffer claims to actually like candy corns, which is freaking unbelievable—why don't you just chow down on some delicious crayons? Might we be able to entice you with this yummy eraser? Gross. Anyway, popcorn balls, Nerds, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Tootsie Rolls, Hershey's Kisses, gum, and Baby Ruths also get the nod. Perhaps the most unusual favorite treat is gift certificates. Hubbawha? Yeah, apparently a family of Jehovah's Witnesses would explain the pagan nature of Halloween and then give out gift certificates to McDonald's. Weird. We always thought the lady who gave out pennies was kind of awesome, but actual, redeemable gift certificates? That's pretty swank.
We'd like to suggest a tax or some form of penalty on people who give out those ghetto fruit tootsie rolls because those are narst and no one ever eats them. They sit in the bottom of the candy bowl for like six months, until someone finally eats one on a dare and claims it's not that bad, but everyone still has to give him a dollar. Yay for candy. E-mail the Tempo section about your favorite Halloween candies at firstname.lastname@example.org. Our vote is a toss-up between Mr. Goodbar and Almond-Joy.