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Insert Clever Ballot Series Title Here

By Sam Bakken in News on Nov 2, 2004 11:27AM

Did you know that?OK, we've got to rattle this one off quickly to be sure to reach you respectable people that wake up before 10:00 a.m. So moving right along, we'll give you a bit of information for the contests specific to Cook County on the ballot. For those seats that aren't contested, we recommend you write yourself in. After all, you do deserve it. When the rest of the citizenry is displaying their "I Voted" stickers with so much democratic hubris, you can one-up 'em and alter yours with a Sharpie to read, "I Voted For Myself".

Here we go, first up State's Attorney of Cook County. We'll vote to re-elect incumbent Richard A. Devine. According to his statement on the Cook County Election Department web site, he'll continue the work he started in his first two terms. That includes an emphasis on treatment-alternatives for first-time non-violent drug offenders, videotaping confessions in capital cases (which his office has done for over 3 years) and intensive efforts to get guns off of Chicago streets through "sophisticated prosecution strategies" (what? like robot lawyers?) and Project Safe Neighborhoods. And as the Sun-Times says, Devine's opponent Phillip Spiwak didn't run "a campaign of any significance" so he probably doesn't want the job anyway.

Second is the election for the Cook County Recorder of Deeds. As much as this Chicagoist hates to say it, he's going with the Tribune and voting for Republican John H. Cox. Cox's main promise is that he will roll the duties of this office into the County Clerk's office. That's the way it is in 80 out of the 102 counties in Illinois and would cut some funds. He's also promised to take a salary of just $1.00. Current Recorder of Deeds Eugene Moore rakes in over $100,000. Also, in June 2004, Moore embarrassed Cook County by having his hired lobbyist lobby against a low-income housing measure the County Board had hired someone to lobby in support. Not to get all cranky grandpa on you, but we don't like the idea of tax payer money paying for two lobbyists on one issue, let alone opposing lobbyists. The Sun-Times endorses Moore, but they say they like Cox. It's just that they "elect politicians in order to fill a job, not dismantle it." They also don't address the lobbying scandal. What a cop-out you pinko-commies.

Third up is the, what seems to us, ridiculous election for Clerk of the Circuit Court of Cook County. It's strictly an administrative position with no real influence on policy. Anyway, incumbent Dorothy Brown got into trouble a while back for soliciting campaign contributions from employees. However, both the Sun-Times and the Tribune endorse Brown because her opponent is a funeral director that they say lacks the experience for the job. Yea, they're right, but the Sun-Times just gave up saying, "We are troubled that, even after her difficulties, she refused to end her practice of accepting campaign contributions from her employees -- she says she has stopped soliciting them, but that is not enough. Nevertheless, we endorse Brown." They could have strapped on a pair and not endorsed either.

And finally for Cook County Circuit Court, remember we already gave you the breakdown for the retention campaigns, there is a contest between Democrat Michelle Jordan and Republican John Joseph Coyne to fill Nancy Sidote Salyers' seat. Uhm...the Tribune endorses Michelle Jordan. She has over 30 years experience, she's served as an assistant attorney general, an assistant prosecutor and a solo practitioner. According to her statement on the Cook County Clerk's web site she definitely knows environmental law. And the Illinois State Bar says she is qualified and Coyne is not.

There you have it. We can't wait until this is all over.