Extreme(ly Bad) Makeover
By Scott Smith in Arts & Entertainment on Nov 8, 2004 8:59PM
Did you see The Incredibles this weekend? Well, we didn't. But apparently you and everyone else did. According to studio estimates, the flick racked up $70.7 million dollars which makes it Pixar’s best opening ever but a distant second to Shrek 2 in the best-opening-weekend-for-an-animated-film sweepstakes. Sorry we’re not math majors or we’d adjust for inflation.
It’s not that we didn't want to see it, mind you. Chicagoist had cash in hand a full two hours before the show started only to end up feeling like that guy in the Fandango commercials. On the plus side, 
we got to see the newly renovated Loews Theater at 600 N. Michigan. Actually, that wasn’t much of a plus. In addition to not being math majors we’re also not Tribune Architecture Critic Blair Kamen. But even we can see that all the new design isn’t going to win one of the least-liked chain theaters any new fans.
Overall, the whole place looks like a bathroom on a space ship from a 50s sci-fi TV show for kids: lots of fluorescent lighting, mosaic tile and phosphorus green trim. A second ticket counter has been added but two problems with this change are immediately apparent. First, in the old entranceway, ticket lines would naturally wrap around the wall. With the second line, any backups will block the escalator making it difficult for people to come and go. Also, after you buy your tickets both lines are served by only one ticket taker so there’s a backup there as well.
The inside is no picnic either. Locating the bathrooms was a challenge due to some dead-end hallways. Though the remodeling efforts are only a month old, none of the dryers in the women’s restrooms worked and one of the dryers in the men’s room was busted too (we were with friends, we weren't being pervs!). The screening rooms themselves were untouched so you're still be looking at the backs of people's heads unless you top out at 6'7" in addition to lots of sold-out shows due to the small size of the rooms (ahem). At least the usher who looks like Clarence Thomas is still working there.
The one nice addition is a lounge-like area on the second floor. It’s sporting the phosphorus green trim too but it’ll give anyone attending their new Click at a Flick date nights someplace to hang. Although if you really hit it off with someone would you then want to spend the next two hours not talking to each other? Personally, Chicagoist thinks you might have better luck pulling an About A Boy and getting someone to pretend to be your kid so you can pick up somebody at the Reel Moms events. They’re showing The Incredibles tomorrow. Might we suggest you Fandango it?