The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

Get Your Dog Licensed

By Margaret Lyons in Miscellaneous on Nov 16, 2004 5:14PM

This is Bubba. He's up for adoption at It looks like the folks at the Tribune really pulled out all the stops on today's story about the City cracking down on unlicensed dogs. "Salivating over the possibility of new revenue, City Hall officials will soon begin hounding dog owners to get licenses for their pets." Seriously, guys? How did you pass up a "get their paws on some revenue" joke? We're disappointed in you.

City officials estimate that 600,000 dogs live in Chicago, but last year only 17,000 new dogs were licensed. Between 80,000 and 90,000 dogs are on the books as having been vaccinated, so the City wants to start collecting from unlicensed but vaccinated pooches. Still with us? Some vets don't like the idea because it might discourage people from vaccinating their dogs against rabies, which is really important. Hello, we've seen Old Yeller, no one wants to shoot a crazed dog. Especially not us.

Licenses would cost $5 for spayed and neutered dogs and $10 if the junk still works; it's 50 percent off if you're over 65 years old, and it's free to register a service dog. Don't forget: Help control the pet population! Have your pet spayed or neutered. City Clerk James Laski, who came up with the harebrained scheme of enforcing rules, is considering fining people $50 or $100 if they don't comply with the licensing requirements after a few months. What a fucker.

If all this talk about having to spend five whole dollars hasn't turned your stomach, maybe you should consider adopting a dog. There are loads and loads of dogs just waiting for a loving home.