What Performance-Altering Drugs are They On?

By Benjy Lipsman in News on Jan 12, 2005 8:25PM

Only in Chicago would something like this occur. Apparently deciding its their duty to set policy for the nation, Chicago Aldermen Edward M. Burke (14th) and Tom Murphy (18th) have proposed legislation that would require sports stadium operators to file affidavits verifying that athletes who play there are free of steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs. Violations would result in the loss of their liquor and other licenses required to operate.

Burke said, "The leagues aren't doing it and Congress isn't doing it. We can create here a drug-free, steroid-free atmosphere for professional athletes. And if the owners of the stadiums don't comply, they run the risk of losing their liquor license."

What?!?! Since when it it the Chicago city council's job to set national legislation? While technically a Chicago ordinance, since it would apply to any athlete playing in Chicago, it would apply to all professional teams in all pro leagues.

How would stadium operators be able to comply with this? Test the athletes? Don't think so. Between the league offices' resistance, the players unions' collective bargaining agreements, the logistics and costs of administering such tests, etc. there would be no way to comply.

And how can the city justify shutting down pro sports facilities? They'd run the risk of canceling the games, which would result in people losing their jobs, fans losing money spent on tickets, the leagues getting royally pissed off at either having to move venues or forfeit games.

This rule is most clearly tergeted at Major League Baseball, which has not acted very swiftly in the wake of a major steroids scandal. The proposal would require compliance by April 1, just before the baseball season begins. So would the city really shut Wrigley and U.S. Cellular? Or would the stadium operators be required to ban Jason Giambi, Berry Bonds and Sammy Sosa from the stadiums? Either way, there's no way MLB is going to allow this. They'll simply move the teams to the cities that didn't get picked for the Expos relocation. Well, Portland Cubs does have a nice ring to it... How about the Las Vegas White Sox?

Even if they just revoked the liquor licenses and allowed the stadiums to remain open, that wouldn't go over much better. The stadiums rely on beer sales for much of their revenue, beer vendors make up much of their staff, and fans would riot if they didn't have access to alcohol. Or they'd enter the stadium already shitfaced. Maybe they could reassign the beer vendors to security...

Regardless, how does ones liquor license relate at all to substances used by the athletes? It's not like Sammy Sosa's putting down a six pack pre-game to improve his on-field performance. This proposal is just silliness and the city council needs to work on solving more pressing issues, like fixing pot holes and making sure people's cars don't get "accidentally" towed and crushed.