Hey, CTA… Seriously, What the F_ck?
By Andrew Peerless in News on Jan 13, 2005 6:58PM
Remember that scene in presidential look-alike classic Dave, when the schmo everyman accountant played by Charles Grodin came into the Oval Office and cleaned up the entire United States government’s budget in, like, 20 minutes? That rocked.
Charles, the CTA needs your help…..
That Brown Line improvement project that’s been planned forever? Well, it’s - oops! –going to cost $22 million more than originally anticipated. Can we just think about that for a minute? $22 million? One time, Chicagoist was sent into a tizzy when the cost of its pizza delivery was three dollars higher than anticipated. How does one deal with such a massive financial oversight?
Well, if you’re CTA President Frank Kruesi or a member of his coven, you propose that – instead of keeping all 18 stations involved in the improvement plan open during all phases of construction – you close down 15 of them. That's, like, 83 percent. Under the current proposal, only the Fullerton, Belmont and Western stops would stay open throughout the project, reducing operating costs, allowing station renovation to occur more quickly and opening up precious fundage for new escalators, bike racks and the like. All other stations would be closed on an alternating basis, during weekdays and weekends, with no two consecutive stations closed at the same time. Sucks…
CTA Chairwoman Carole Brown has been appointed official wizard of process, and she’ll either authorize the closures or enact a secondary plan that will operate “bare bones” versions of all Brown Line platforms: stations that substitute chain link and wrought iron for arched brick entrances, and leave canopies, rails and track structures unrestored and unpainted.
Chicagoist is really torn here… urban decay or inaccessibility? Perhaps the Brown Line’s 60,000 daily riders have an opinion? Or the countless new Chicagoans that may want to ride the Brown Line between now and the time this project is completed… in 2009.
But anyway, while you’re wrapping your melons around that, lean in a little closer for more good news!
The CTA has announced contingency plans for its endless budgetary woes, which are expected to go into effect in July if that anticipated bailout from the folks in Springfield doesn’t come through. In addition to the already-announced twenty percent service cuts, here’s what happy riders can look forward to:
1) Increased fares for riders that pay cash
2) Increased rush-hour fares
3) Different rates for buses and trains
4) Even mo’ service cuts!
Chicagoist wonders if buses or trains would be more expensive, and how one quantifies the difference between a big white pill that rolls on four wheels and breaks down on Lake Shore Drive, and a big metal job that clicks and clacks on rails in the air and consistently pauses while "waiting for signals ahead."
Anyway, Chicagoist pays its $1.75 several times a day, and just has to wonder how the CTA can consistently operate on the brink of complete and total financial catastrophe. In the words of Charles Grodin, “If I ran my business this way… I’d be out of business!”