Signal Recognition of Peoria by Nodding Gently

By Andrew Peerless in News on Jan 18, 2005 3:24PM

Oh, good heavens! Chicagoist’s dearest neighbor in the southwesterly direction, the fair city of Peoria, has been officially recognized as one of our nation’s most well-mannered cities. Let us demonstrate our deepest approval in a fitting manner, with just a hint of a grin and gentle applause.

Prim and proper Peoria was recognized by 79-year-old etiquette princess Marjabelle Young Stewart, of Kewanee, Illinois, who has been compiling the best-mannered list for the past 28 years. Charleston, South Carolina stole the first place ranking for the 10th year in a row, while Peoria trailed San Diego and Seattle and landed in the fourth place spot. Western Illinois allies Moline and Rock Island, Illinois, joined the rest of the Quad Cities to take sixth place.

The best-mannered rankings are based on letters and faxes to Stewart from the public, and from past students of her well-regarded etiquette courses.

Um, no sour grapes here, but Chicagoist thinks that rating system sounds kinda fishy. Look forward to our first-ever Chicagoist-sponsored letter-writing campaign sometime next year… we will NOT be left off next year’s list. Marjabelle, step out of the way because Chicago is rolling through!

On second thought… we don’t need you, Marjabelle. We’re the fifth fattest city, and we’re pretty proud, so maybe you should shut your well-groomed trap before we come through with a truckload of Italian Beef sandwiches and sit on you.

By the way, look forward to next month’s debut of Peori-ist, which will feature daily postings on napkin folding, flower arranging and parlor games.