Oh Crap: DMB Bus Driver To Be Charged

By Scott Smith in Arts & Entertainment on Jan 19, 2005 4:07PM

We thought the (fecal) matter of Dave Matthews Band vs. The Lucky Lady architectural boat tour would go quietly into the cold, dark night. But apparently we were wrong. The Trib and Sun-Times are reporting that State’s Attorney Dick Devine will announce criminal charges against DMB bus driver (previously identified in civil suits as Stefan Wohl) in a news conference today.

Violating the Wanda Sykes rule to stick with your lie, the band essentially made an admission of guilt back in October when it donated $100,000 to various environmental groups. If convicted of these charges, it will likely make it more difficult for DMB to avoid payouts in the pending civil suit brought against them by Lisa “Baby Mama” Madigan and two personal injury lawsuits from some of the shat-upon tourists.

The Sun-Times went the hard news route with their hed this morning while the Trib got a bit clever. Personally, we would have gone with Driver’s Shit To Hit The Fan Today. Just one of the many reasons why we got kicked out of J-school.

Here’s one thing we have been unable to understand throughout this whole incident: why was there dookie on the DMB bus to begin with? Everyone knows that the first rule of the tour bus is you never do “number two” on the road.