He Wants to Meet your Feet

By Andrew Peerless in Arts & Entertainment on Jan 25, 2005 6:06PM

Warning: This Chicagoist post has been rated R.

If you’ve continued reading, please fix your gaze on the picture to the right, and consider how it makes you feel. Disgusted? Indifferent? Excited? Strangely tingly? For one Chicago gentleman, a more explicit adjective might be appropriate.

Over the past few years, a pattern has emerged as scores of Northside men (including Chicagoist) have been propositioned for sexual favors while minding their own business on the streets of Lakeview (especially along Broadway). Anyone living in a big city certainly runs the risk of being hit up for sex from time to time, but these incidents are noteworthy because they are almost identical in methodology, single-minded in purpose and unmistakably the work of a single individual.

And what is it that he seeks? Just one thing: your feet.

Based on our own experience and descriptions from six people that have encountered this person, Chicagoist is able to extrapolate that the encounters universally go like this:

1) A normal looking gentleman approaches his target, either in broad daylight or at night, and opens a conversation by asking the location of a nearby bar, shop or restaurant.
2) Once given an answer, the gentleman immediately changes the topic and divulges that he has a foot fetish. He will often ask that his target not laugh at him (Chicagoist obliged).
3) Given that the target has not walked away at this point, the gentleman will offer money in exchange for the target accompanying him to his home or a nearby restroom, and sticking their feet in his face while he pleasures himself.

Chicagoist, who was propositioned for a “date” in the bathroom of the Broadway/Belmont Chipotle restaurant, refused the offer but took pride in the fact that our offer was $20 ($2 per toe!), while a friend was offered only $10 a year prior.

Seriously, though, Chicagoist is worried that this is turning into an epidemic. Have any readers had their tootsies admired by the mystery man? How did they handle the situation? Has anyone ever said “yes?”

For the record, Chicagoist has nothing against people with foot fetishes… or any fetishes, for that matter. Furries have their animals, and some people even seem to revel in the playful adaptation of urine into the sexual arena. To each his own, but Chicagoist just wonders if maybe Mr. Foot Fetish would have better luck if he posted a personal ad or visited a chat room.