Flipped Off

By Erin in Miscellaneous on Apr 5, 2005 3:06PM

Chicagoist spent Friday morning staring at our naked feet, worrying and wondering ... What does a beautiful foot really look like? Can our feet go toe-to-toe with the throngs of hopefuls at Old Navy's Top Flip-Flop Model Contest? Dare Chicagoist dream?

At stake were a coveted spot in a 2006 national Old Navy circular, monthly pedicures for a year, and 365 pairs of flip-flops. That’s right, say it with us again: 365 pairs of flip-flops.

While we're not huge fans of the flip-flop, we do like the idea of celebrity. Even if it's just for our feet. Chicagoist took matters into our own hands and got ready for what we knew would be rough competition. A battle such as this called for serious preparation and that meant a pedicure at Nail Bar on Broadway.

She-Chicagoist, the faction of the Chicagoist foot-modeling team that was well versed in the customs and traditions of a pedicure, selected a delicious-looking orange hue for her toenails, while he-Chicagoist, the pedicure virgin among us, was told by a stern-looking pedicurist that he "Really needed a pedicure."

Less than twenty-four hours later, perfectly pedicured feet at the ready, we entered Old Navy's State Street location. Before us lay a nauseatingly colorful display of flip-flops -- Why must old Navy insist on bringing back neon every season? Why God Why? -- presided over by a predictably bouncy sales girl in full beach get-up and two model-quality massage therapists with just one thing in mind: feet.

The masseuses had reportedly massaged nearly 200 feet during the two days of the promotion, though it was clear to all present that they favored the feet of the Chicagoist team.

Saturday saw the most action, with the majority of foot model hopefuls waiting in long lines for their chance at stardom, their ticket out of the suburbs and locations beyond, as most who entered the contest were tourists who happened upon the contest.

Sunday’s crowds were much smaller so Chicagoist was immediately ushered into the complimentary foot massage zone, greeted by the adorable little masseuses and completely calmed as Lubriderm found its way into our well-pampered tootsies. Each massage therapist complimented us on our beautiful feet [She-Chicagoist was told she “had a good chance” but assumed he said that to all the feet.] though we cracked when they asked if we'd had pedicures recently.

Following the massages, it was time to select some foot jewelry for our, um, foot-shots. She-Chicagoist selected a stunning sequin sunflower, affixed just shy of her toes; He-Chicagoist's temporary tattoo refused to stay put (something to do with too much Lubriderm), so he ended up with the sunflower as well.

We proceeded toward a made-of-flip-flops photo booth, and ... well ... here's where it gets fishy. The photographs were taken from at least six feet away, which makes Chicagoist think this entire thing is a sham! A hoax! Or, at the very least, a cheap PR stunt that will likely be decided by random chance, and not the inner beauty of our feet or ourselves.

While it isn't the first time Chicagoist has felt so cheap and used, we're clinging to the hope that when Old Navy says that “the Judges will be looking for a foot or feet with the style and look that is exemplary of the Old Navy brand image," we'll make the cut.

Really, Chicagoist has some idea as to what that brand image is, and isn’t quite confident that we fit the bill, but we’ll know come June.