We Don't Love Them Ho's, But We Will Pay For Their Funerals

By Sam Bakken in News on Apr 7, 2005 12:50AM

Man oh man do we wish we'd been able to observe the Illinois House floor today when the Predator Accountability Act came up for discussion. The act, Rep. Constance A. Howard's (D-Chicago) bill HB1299, will allow "persons who have been or are subjected to the sex trade to seek civil damages and remedies from individuals and entities that recruited, profited from, or maintained them in the sex trade." These damages include, among other things, financial losses, mental and emotional anguish, personal injury, disease, death (including burial expenses), pain and suffering, and physical impairment. The House passed it today and it will be introduced to the Senate ( Senate? Pimps and Ho's Bill. Pimps and Ho's Bill? Senate.) tomorrow.

The idea of hearing a stodgy white-haired legislator utter the word "pimp" or "ho" or their plurals, or both words in the same sentence, during a debate really gets us excited. But we were swamped today and weren't able to make it to Springfield. We'd hoped to find the word "ho" in the act's official documentation, but all we found was one "pimps" and a "pimped".

Though we don't have much experience with people that are actually employed as pimps, it seems to us that they're no-good exploitative bastards for the most part. So in a sense the bill seems sort of fair, but we are a bit apprehensive about the whole thing. What's next? An act allowing the families of young impressionable gang members to sue gang leaders when their son or daughter is shot during a gang war?