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Hello, Springfield!

By Scott Smith in Arts & Entertainment on Apr 22, 2005 3:11PM

2005_04_22_springfield.gifFirst, a correction: Earlier this month, Chicagoist suggested that some of the bands scheduled to play Taste of Chicago were one or two years away from playing a state fair. In Lynyrd Skynyrd’s case, we were incorrect. Lynyrd Skynyrd will be playing the Illinois State Fair this year.

So sayeth the Associated Press who reported the lineup yesterday. The headliners will be REO Speedwagon, Skynyrd, and two country bands called Rascal Flatts and Brad Paisley. We don't know anything about country music made after 1983 so we called our sister who does. She says Rascal Flatts puts on a good show and that they're "like a country music boy band." Brad Paisley, on the other hand, "is an ass." Chicagoist's sister related a story of waiting three hours in the rain for Paisley's autograph only to have him quit signing with only eight people left in line even though he was high and dry "in a frickin' tent." So screw you, Brad Paisley.

Chicagoist isn’t sure why the AP neglected to mention Cheap Trick’s place on the bill but if we were Rick Neilsen and Co., we too might want to minimize the knowledge that we’re opening for REO Speedwagon in the year 2005 and not 1985.

The AP also tells us that “teen singer Jesse McCartney will open for the pop rock group Simple Plan,” which leads us to today’s quiz:

How do you know when you can no longer fool yourself into thinking you’re punk:
A) Your lead singer’s name is Pierre Bouvier
B) The guy opening for you is on a WB show with the chick who used to be on Full House
C) You’re Canadian *
D) Not even the AP will call you punk anymore

The full list of acts is available at the Illinois State Fair website. If none of these bands grabs you then maybe you oughta put your rocking where your mouth is and take the stage yourself.

* Complain if you want but with the exception of Melissa Auf Der Maur, the evidence is pretty clear.

Image: The Simpsons and the extremely handsome--if somewhat litigious--people at Fox Broadcasting.