Zorita's Story - Just a Modern Girl
By Andrew Peerless in Miscellaneous on Apr 22, 2005 12:33PM
Meet Zorita... a single mom, jilted lover and ten-year resident of the Brookfield Zoo's Humboldt penguin exhibit. The poor gal is causing all sorts of trouble up at the zoo, and is so unusually promiscuous (read: she a ho) she can be considered a scientific marvel.
Zorita's time at Brookfield started out like any good penguin's life should: a brief romance with a solid guy, marriage (penguins mate for life and become mutually dependent on their spouses) and an idyllic house in the 'burbs. Her world came crashing down with the death of her mate in 2000, though, so Zorita did what any modern gal would do: she chased tail.
Zorita fixed her gaze upon another local boy, but he was already taken. His woman didn't especially care for Zorita's advances, and - along with her posse - aimed her aggression at Zorita. With a collective cry of, "Oh no she didn't!" they engaged our heroine in a series of fights that would come to disrupt the entire Brookfield penguin world.
Zookeepers, fearing the worst, were forced to isolate Zorita and placed her in a separate habitat, all alone... except for a strapping young teen named Gazpacho. Yeah, you know were this is going...
In a scene reminscent of an Ashton/Demi romance, Zorita and Gazpacho got themselves down to business, and though zoo officials were certain Gazpacho was too young to "produce," Zorita went and got herself knocked up (a scientific first by a penguin Gazpacho's age).
Which brings us to now: Zorita has a chick, but Gazpacho is nowhere to be found. That irreverent penguin prick apparently thinks playing is more fun than fatherhood, so he's leaving Zorita to raise their child on her own.
In a last-ditch effort to save Zorita's dignity and her bastard chick's sense of family, the pair is being immediately relocated to Milwaukee County Zoo, where an older single penguin eagerly awaits her arrival.
Will Zorita go back to an older man after tasting young flesh? Will Gazpacho ever settle down and develop a sense of responsibility? And to think... these gentle homosexuals get all the attention for "immoral" penguin lifestyles...
Image courtesy of www.nbc5.com