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Even Darth Thought Episode III Sucked

By Sam Bakken in News on May 23, 2005 6:00PM

Well, we saw that movie last night. And we agree whole-heartedly with the New Yorker's take. We've made a vow never to watch another movie in which someone utters the word "droid" or the phrase "may the force be with you." We don't want to argue about it. We don't think you're stupid if you liked it. We're just done with it—though we do think somebody needs to write a rap song using a beat made from samples of the light saber whoosh and the lazer gun zap.

Kohhhhhh KuhhhhhAnyway, apparently there's somebody in Springfield that agrees with us. When a wet-eyed Natalie Portman said to the newly christened Darth Vader, "You've changed," we were ready to roll our eyes right out of the theater and to the box office for a refund. But then we decided that we appreciated the theater for hosting us for the evening and it wasn't their fault that we didn't like the movie. We decided it better to write a letter to Lucas and ask him for the refund.

The person in Springfield wanted satisfaction immediately. The person, sporting a Darth Vader mask, entered the Showplace 8 theater in Springfield at about 9:15 Saturday night, pushed an employee out of the way, grabbed some of the theater's cash and ran out to a nearby wooded area. Darth didn't wield any light sabers. No arrests were made, and police say they have no suspects.