Chicago Poet Killer Acting Like a Baby

By Andrew Peerless in News on Jun 22, 2005 3:37PM

Way back in March, Chicagoist told you about our town's poetry villain:
living among us, hiding the mem'ries of his former life's lying and killin'.
Now once again, Porter's on the front page, but now he leaves us in a stitch,
for the killer so cold now leaves in his place a scared and whiny bitch.

Porter once killed a few people, you see, while robbing a men's clothing store.
He was taken to prison, but wouldn't you know it, found life "on the inside" a bore.
So he shot him another and fled to Chicago, where he settled, worked and made friends,
'til the cops finally cought him and brought twenty years of fugitive life to an end.

So Porter's back on his original sentence, in a cell of steel bars he does pout,
("Fair ups," we say... payment indeed for the lives that this monster snuffed out).
But alas! New charges! Just what he gets, for two decades of life of the lam...
And now Porter wants special treatment, you see, and Chicagoist thinks it's a sham.

"Wouldn't it be easier," he's asking the judge, "if I were in jail for less time?
How 'bout, instead of two sentences for me, I just serve out one that's combined?
I don't want to be in this prison, you see, and I don't mind telling you why:
If you make me stay here for that long, I'm afraid, I may not get out 'fore I die."

"Here's the world's smallest violin," say we, rubbing our fingers in time.
Perhaps killers should consider these things 'fore they start their lives of crime.
The prosecutor trying the case, he agrees, and his plans show no mercy forthcoming,
"Nobody Knows the Trouble I See," shall Porter forever be humming.