Ebert On Awfulness

By Scott Smith in Arts & Entertainment on Jun 24, 2005 3:12PM

Yesterday Roger Ebert received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Congratulations, Roger. You’ve finally arrived.

Bill Zwecker’s got all the news that’s fit to print in a press release this morning about the ceremony. Apparently, this was the first time that a star was given to a critic. Finally! Pointing out people’s flaws has been legitimized! By an organization that honors people whose friends have $15,000 dollars to spare! Let freedom ring!

Ebert’s wife Chaz had the best quote of the day though with this gem: "One day he'll be quoting Shakespeare, the next day it's all about 'Booty Call.' Sorry ladies, he’s taken!

Though we’ll get to see some of Ebert’s favorite movies this summer when Movies in the Park begins, Chicagoist took a look through his reviews to see what films he’s really hated over the years. Everyone knows about North, the film that spawned the compendium of essays about movies Ebert despises, but what other films got a thumb where the sun don’t shine? A partial list and some of his best lines after the jump.

B.A.P.S (1997)
"An appalling lapse of good judgment creates a jaw-droppingly bad movie..."

Caligula(1980):
"This film is not only garbage on an artistic level, but that it is also garbage on the crude and base level where it no doubt hopes to find its audience. "Caligula" is not good art, It is not good cinema, and it is not good porn."

Freddy Got Fingered (2001):
"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."

She's Out Of Control (1989):
"What planet did the makers of this film come from? What assumptions do they have about the purpose and quality of life?"

Tomcats (2001):
"Read no further if through reckless wrong-headedness you plan to see this movie."

Speed Zone (1989):
"Nonstop chase-and-crash comedies have provided some of the worst movies of recent years...but even in that dismal company 'Speed Zone' sets some kind of record."