This Just In: Sky Blue! Grass Green!

By Erin in News on Jul 12, 2005 2:57PM

Where in the hell was this study when the cell phone ordinance was passed?

The city's ban on using handheld cell phones while driving, sponsored by everyone's favorite council member, Ald. Burt "I-Have-My-Own-Bobble-Head-And-You-Don't" Natarus (42nd), was ostensibly put into effect to make the streets of Chicago safer from jackasses who are more concerned about the conversation they're having than the roads they are navigating, making headsets mandatory for those who wish to use their phones while driving.

Now, just days after the ordinance went into effect [and subsequently been ignored by a great many], a new study, sponsored by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, tells us that -- Surprise! Surprise! -- headsets don't do diddly. According to the study: Drivers on the phone, handsfree or not, are still four times more likely to end up in a crash and injured than if they hung up the fucking thing.

Chicagoist has, on occassion, been known to be one of these jackasses and long ago secured for herself a headset so as to ... what? Honestly we've never felt as though we were doing anyone a public service because we're still more preoccupied with the person on the other line than the road.

The only thing using a headset will actually accomplish is keeping cops from pulling over drivers and issuing users the tickets worth $50 -- $200 if the driver is in a crash. Which is good, because, you know, the good men and women of the Chicago Police Department don't have anything better to do.