Illinois Is The New Promised Land

By Sam Bakken in News on Jul 14, 2005 8:30PM

She can't walk or talk, but she can conceive. Police and the Illinois Department of Public Health are investigating the Alden Village Health Facility for Children and Young Adults in Bloomingdale after news that a 23-year-old brain-damaged resident of the facility is pregnant. An employee at the facility called the woman's mother last month to tell her that her daughter was going to the hospital for a swelling in her stomach. Originally they thought it was an issue with her feeding tube, but it turned out that she was over seven months pregnant. That night, the mother had the woman and her twin sister who'd both lived at the facility since age 10 transferred to another facility. The AVHFCYA is no stranger to allegations of neglect and sexual abuse.

Employees are undergoing DNA testing. We think investigators need to also get a sample of God's DNA. The Christians always say that Hey-Zeus will be back. And with the underpass virgin on Fullerton and the Jesus tree-portrait in East Chicago, IN; we think the big guy may be telling us something. And remember Matthew 5:5? "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth"? Check out the second definition of meek, "Easily imposed on; submissive." Coincidence? Try "miracle".