Proof That "The Magic School Bus" Books Are Dangerous

By Sam Bakken in News on Jul 18, 2005 7:42PM

Police say that on Saturday night 10 to 15 teenagers climbed over the fence of a South Side parking lot in the 1000 block of West 111th Street and held their own demolition derby using the city school buses parked within. Up to 10 school buses were damaged and the kids drove two of them THROUGH A BRICK WALL! What's the deal? Are the keys just left inside these buses?

It doesn't sound like anyone was hurt, and police do not have anybody in custody in relation to the incident, but we think this may only the start of this sort of thing. This incident is directly related to the inclusion of "The Magic School Bus" books in many of our schools' curriculums. If children are brought up on tales about Ms. Frizzle and her class driving a bus into the ocean, a hurricane, a beehive and space without damaging it or injuring any of its passengers; is it so surprising that they'd think they could drive one through a brick wall without consequence?

These books are dangerous, and we'd better ban them before we hear stories of children trying to drive school buses into each other's anuses because they want to learn more about the colon. Also, Ms. Frizzle is totally a lesbian. Why do you think they Lily Tomlin provided the voice for her in the cartoon series? We don't want our children learning from a sinner, cartoon or not.