We'll Stick To Walking

By Scott Smith in News on Jul 19, 2005 1:37PM

Chicagoist doesn’t drive very often and when we do it’s usually because we’re headed out of town on a road trip. So when we overhear traffic reports, we usually pause only long enough to laugh at the poor bastards stuck on the Kennedy as we wonder if we’ll be sitting next to the guy that smells like pee again on the bus this morning.

There’s some good news in this morning’s Sun-Times for anyone who drives in Sector 3245 of the Loop as the city plans on testing a right-turn traffic signal at the corner of State and Washington. No more will Old Navy-bound pedestrians prevent cars from moving through the intersection! Though the change doesn’t require any additional signals to be installed, the city still managed to find a way to charge taxpayers $20,000 per intersection. Thank goodness pedestrians and drivers always obey traffic signals or that’d be just a waste of money. Plus, isn't it nice that even though Chicago is a big city, news of a new traffic light downtown still hits the daily paper?

If you happen to get pulled over going through one of the new signals, the state of Illinois wants you to know that it’s wise for you to stay in your car. Secretary of State Jesse White is saying that his office may add tips for surviv...er, handling traffic stops to the Rules of the Road handbook in response to a recent altercation between police and State Senator Rev. James Meeks. The Chicago Police Department also released a version of said tips that recommends staying in the damn car, doing what the officer tells you, being cooperative and everything else you don’t see on an average episode of Cops.

Observers think that the addition of these new rules will reduce future incidents but may lead to a decrease in publicity for any other future mayoral candidates.