Help Advantaged Students Identify Disadvantaged Students

By Sam Bakken in News on Jul 21, 2005 7:05AM

Once upon a time we were riding the bus home from elementary school and a friend complimented us on our stocking cap. He asked us where we got it and we replied, "Kmart". He laughed and announced to the rest of our school chums that our mom shopped for us at Kmart. We were thrilled thinking, "Yea guys! Isn't that store awesome? They've got everything and mom says it's cheap. That means she's more likely to buy us stuff when we go there." But we soon realized the laughs weren't chummy, "We've got something in common!" laughs. The laughs were Nelson Muntz brays accompanied by lots of pointing.

From that point on we swore off Lee jeans and any piece of clothing that didn't have a REAL brand name. Nowadays we don't go clothes shopping unless the hole in the crotch of our pants is large enough to show the hole in the crotch of our boxer shorts (both holes sometimes growing large enough to show a whole other kind of hole—hey-oh). But when we do, we're ALL about Target clothes (we've still got issues with Kmart).

Surely by now you're asking, "What in the shit is your POINT Chicagoist!" Well, it's this: We think an important part of every child's development is to, at some point, feel shame for wearing less than stylish clothes or carrying a knock-off Trapper Keeper to school. And Chicago Public Schools are doing their part to keep this American tradition alive. They're asking the haves to donate money to buy back-to-school kits for the city's poorer students (evidently there are 8,970 homeless students in the CPS system this year—the largest number ever).

Their goal is 12,000 kits so get over there and help out. Then you can smile knowing that on the first day of school at least one kid's delusional pride in their learning supplies-filled schoolkidz.com box will be whittled down to shame by the rich kids, all thanks to you.