Watcha Go'n' Do Boss?

By Sam Bakken in News on Jul 28, 2005 9:31PM

Last night we had a dream (or maybe a night[da]mare). In the dream, a parade of Chicagoans marched to city hall (torches and pitchforks in hand), up 5 floors and through the doors of Daley's office. Ron Huberman tried to stop them, but somebody kicked him in the nuts, and the mob plowed past. They grabbed the squealing Daley, tied him up and headed outside with him in tow on a rope. They headed to the Richard J. Daley Center's plaza singing "Ding dong! The Boss go'n' be dead. Which old boss? The second one!"

In front of "The Picasso" waited "Spanky the Clown", Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr., a guillotine, a pig roaster and a number of Cook County republicans. The mob arrived and fastened Daley into the guillotine. With his hand on the lever, Spanky announced, "This is for you, the people of Chicago!" The people cheered. Spanky pulled the lever. The blade dropped and lopped off Daley's head. Jackson Jr. caught the head, with grace, on a silver platter before it hit the ground, turned 'round to the republicans and exchanged the head for $10,000 in change.

The Cook County GOP-ers quickly left in a cavalcade of black vans, but the rest of us stuck around and danced to "Saturday in the Park" on repeat while Ald. Ricardo Munoz (22nd) manned the rotisserie slathering Daley's roasting, rotating body with barbeque sauce for the feast. That's when our alarm clock sounded.

We've always thought ourselves a bit psychic, and what do we find in our in-box this morning but an e-mail message from Munoz's staff about an attempt to put the heat on Daley. Munoz wants the city law department to recover any money gained by "individuals and POLITICAL CAMPAIGN COMMITTEES" from the Hired Truck Scandal or other scandals in the Mayor’s Office of Intergovernmental Affairs. According to Munoz's staff, that dirty money belongs to the city government in accordance with state law.

Well and good, but we'd bet the city law department won't be interested in digging too deep because Daley's essentially their boss. But Munoz did garner a number of co-sponsors at last night's council meeting, and Daley said he'd take a look at the measure.