Mysterious Monkey Beast Taunts Elgin

By Andrew Peerless in Miscellaneous on Aug 4, 2005 1:30PM

For the past few days, police in the far northwest suburb of Elgin have been searching, fruitlessly, for some sort of monkey-esque beast that has been spotted prowling the area. Three sightings in recent days have reported the same thing: a black and brown monkey, between three and four feet tall, lurking in the woods on Elgin's southwest side.

According to primate experts from the Brookfield Zoo, the description most closely matches that of a chimpanzee, since monkeys don't normally grow so tall. And, because chimps are apparently rare pets, Chicagoist chalks the sightings up to one of two things:

1) A vast study of Project X-ian proportions is taking place closer than we thought... and therefore, the Elgin monkey shall heretofore be known as "Virgil."

2) The west coast has its Abonimable Snowman, Loch Ness has its Nessie... and now Elgin is finally getting it mysterious creature due.

Is it wrong for us to hope it's #2?