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Ask Chicagoist: Tiny Golf

By Sarah in Miscellaneous on Aug 9, 2005 3:28PM

tiny Golf.gifDear Ask,
My cousin just moved here from California and keeps talking about how much she loves miniature golf, but hasn't seen any "courses" here in Chicago. Her birthday is coming up so I thought I'd take her out for her favorite sport. Any ideas?
Thanks, A.

Dearest A.,
We must admit that initially it was with great horror that we read this question. While we could recognize that you are an exceptionally well-intentioned cousin, we are snooty snobs. At first, we thought pretend-golfing to be an utterly ridiculous way to spend an afternoon. However! After doing some research in to the matter (see below), we have emerged from our chrysalis of ignorance, to realize that this miniaturized sport seems like nothing short of a complete blast. Your cousin is a genius; we will be shopping for tiny golf-related accessories immediately upon completing this post. Here's the lowdown (hee hee) on teeny windmills and petite ovals of astroturf:
dutch windmill 2.jpg

City Golf Chicago This is Navy Pier's 18-hole miniature golf course and lets you golf your way around the base of the Ferris wheel (be careful!) and "Chicago-themed" golf holes. Lets hope they've spared the kids the "Dirtiest City" hole, the "Fifth Fattest City" hole, and are allowing just a few golden moments of childhood unburdened by the "Corruption Capital" golf hole. Costs $5 for all ages, open noon-10pm Sun-Thurs and 10am-midnight Fridays and Saturdays.

Fun Time Square, Inc. presents a potpourri of delights available from 10am midnight, and will set you back a mere $3 for the 10 and under set, and only $4 for the grownups. We had a lovely chat with the boss' daughter, Annette Borowski, who gave us the lowdown: they've got go-carts, bumper cars, an arcade, a "choo-choo train for the kids," a snack shop with hot dogs, nachos, slushies, and (Annette's personal favorite!) 7-inch pizzas for only $4. She probably gets the pizzas for free, being the boss's daughter and all. And they have three games of pinball: Fun House (natch!), The Who (who knew?) and a third one she couldn't remember. Of course we had to push it and ask if there was a bar. Alas, all things must possess one tiny flaw; Fun Times Square does not serve drinks.

cartoonhouse.jpgWe heard about two more places, but weren't able to reach them for "comment": Indoor Golf City on 4746 N Central Park Avenue, 773-539-5514; and Anywhere Mini Golf, at 3416 N Southport Avenue, 773-973-2048.

Of course, we became obsessed and researched still further, only to find a list of every single solitary teeny tiny miniature golfing site in all of Illinois! Thanks be to the tiny Tiger Woods who must have compiled it. And while you're planning that autumnal European holiday, don't miss the listings for the myriad of international petite-golf events!

Got a cousin with a random hobby? Need some advice? Email Ask(at)