Chicago Jesus, Er, "Oprah" Forgives Hermès, Declares Their Products Kosher

By Sam Bakken in News on Sep 21, 2005 4:03AM

As you may know, and we can't even begin to explain how wonderful we think you are if you don't, a big expensive store in a big expensive city in France denied Oprah Winfrey entrance to their store this summer. Oprah arrived 15 minutes after the store's posted closing time, or employees were preparing a public relations event, or Oprah was too black or too ugly or whatever—they didn't let her in.

The media went nuts over the story. Oprah said she was humiliated and that she would no longer buy Hermès products. The store apologized a week later.

Yesterday Hermès USA CEO Robert Chavez joined Oprah on her show's season premiere. As Oprah washed Chavez's feet, he officially apologized. Because he repented, and was baptized by Oprah earlier on in the show, She forgave him and gave him a gift bag filled with the Holy Spirit. And because it's not what goes into a man (plenty of prep work with the Hermès PR team), but what comes out of him (an official apology), Oprah encouraged her viewers to once again shop at Hermès. (In saying this, Oprah declared all Hermès products "clean".)