Chicagoist Overheard
By Chicagoist Overheard in Miscellaneous on Sep 22, 2005 3:39PM
We're learning some valuable lessons this week: you can't change the past, cucumbers aren't as versatile as we thought, and something about Jesus and the homeless. Keep 'em coming: overheard at chicagoist dot com.
Girl: I'm very emo. Even my tattoo is emo.
Boy: What is it? A crying bird?
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Guy to his girlfriend: Fanny packs are really making a comeback.
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Girl 1: When my insurance money comes through, I'm totally buying a bass.
Girl 2: You don't play the bass.
Girl 1: But I can. Please! It's the retard instrument!
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Guyfriend:But I don't like Muslix!
Girlfriend: Then choose something else. Jesus, don't be a martyr!
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Brother: I hope the next time you fuck, you get pregnant.
Sister: No way! God! Don't say that!
Brother: I want to be an uncle!
Sister: But I don't want a baby!
Brother: Give it to mom!
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Girl: So in the midst of it all, I adopted two chinchillas.
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Woman 1: I HAVE to watch last season's finale of CSI before the new one starts up, the one everyone was buzzing about. I missed it.
Woman 2: CSI? Or CSI Miami?
Woman 1: CSI. The last one, I heard it was so good.
Woman 2: or CSI NY?
Woman: I think it's on Wednesday.. but OMG! Lost is on Wednesday.. what am I going to do!?
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Guy: Well, I like the song L.A. Woman, and Jim Morrison was fat then, so don't me that I don't like fat people.
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Girl #1: So the cucumber breaks off right in my ass!
Girls #2 and #3: Eeeeewwwww!!!
Girl #1: I swear to God- the thing broke off RIGHT in my ass!
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Girl on cell phone in Daley Plaza: Do you know what the lawyer told me today? (pause) That the police put in their report that I peed in my pants! I am SO pissed!
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Man to woman: Working with the homeless looks good on paper, but the homeless are assholes.
Woman: Well, whatever you do to the least of them, you do to Jesus.
Man: No one ever said Jesus was a motherfucker.
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Twentysomething guy in a tie, talking on his cellphone on the El, loudly: Anyway, I knew I didn't want to keep this job forever, you know? It's a really conservative firm, and I'm just not a good fit for them. Well, I didn't KNOW they would call the FBI! You can't change the past, you know? You can't change the past. But they called the fucking FBI! I guess that thing in Florida is on my record. I totally wanted a different job anyway. Mom, what was I supposed to do? You can't change the past, you know?
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Woman 1: My sister is coming in on wedsnesday and we're going to see wicked
Woman 2: Ooh, that will be fun. You know Karen read the book
Woman 1: Did she like it?
Woman 2: Uh...well...she had a hard time getting through it
Woman 1: Ohhh...really?
Woman 2: But I bet the play will be good! It's a big book, you know. Thick. She said the names were long (hesitant laugh from both). I wouldn't even attempt the book...boring....
Woman 1: Well, I won't read the book, I'll just see the play!
both laugh