I-PASS All the Way to Boston

By vouchey in Miscellaneous on Sep 26, 2005 9:06PM

In a smashing advancement for long distance drivers or Big Brother, depending on your perspective, Illinois' fabulously compulsory automatic Tollway fare passes, I-PASS, are now usable in eleven Eastern states -- also known as the EZPass Network. We've previously complained about this deficit, and we're glad to see that things have been fixed. So, in celebration, we recommend the following route for wacky Illinois drivers wishing to take full advantage of their I-PASS freedom.

1. Start at Davenport, IA. Drive East on I-88. Toss change into the tool booths until you get Rock Falls, IL.
2. At Rock Falls, STRAP ON THE I-PASS! You're gaining hours now, baby! No waiting in line now! Yahoo!
3. At the I-290 Junction, stay on. You're gonna hit ALL the toll booths!
4. Hang a right onto the Dan Ryan, head East on I-90/94.
5. Take the Indiana Toll Road Exit.
6. At the Skyway, wave to the SUCKERS with no I-PASS, you're cruising!
7. Once on the Indiana Toll Road, Toss 50-cents into the bucket. Do repeatedly. Take ticket at Valpo. You're in the lame zone again.
8. At Indiana/Ohio line, take Ohio Tollpike ticket. Lame.
9. Keep driving through LAME Ohio, stay on I-90.
10. Hit the Pennsylvania border. Stay on I-90. Still lame, but give these guys some cred, since they promote I-PASS awesomeness on I-76 further south.
11. You're in New York now! STRAP ON THE I-PASS! Rock on and cruise pass the losers! Just look for those purple EZPASS signs, and you're golden! Yahoo!
12. Cruise through with I-PASS goodness, bucko, because you're clear all the way to the Atlantic! Feel the burn! Yeah!