Sick Kids :||

By Roland Lara on Oct 18, 2005 4:58PM

Yesterday in Park Forest 43 sixth-graders and four kingergarteners were sickened by their school’s food.

Chicagoist, too, was sickened by those rectangle-shaped pizzas and chunky applesauce back in the day, but these 47 kids were truly sickened, invading the nurse’s office with complaints of stomachaches and nausea until the school called the paramedics.

It’s been a rough patch for Park Forest Elementary School District 163, since yesterday’s would-be Barfarama was the second such food-related snafu in twelve days. On October 5, seventeen kids in the same district got sick after drinking school juice. The juice incident proved to be due to elevated levels of yeast.

Yeast?

They infected the kids with hyper-yeasted juice?

Ick.

Superintendent Joyce Carmine speculated that yesterday’s Kiddie Sick Fest 2.0 might be due to the fruit cups. Until she receives a satisfactory explanation, she’s feeding the kids fast-food hamburgers and pizza.

Chicagoist is sure the children are going to love that. Let's just put out bowls of Skittles and beef jerky to keep them fed. Come on, now. How messed is the system where we’re throwing Big Macs at the kids because it’s the healthier alternative? It’s like having Dr. Phil do your open-heart surgery because, hey! At least it’s not Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

Has Morgan Spurlock been alerted?