Chicago Theatre: Stop the Madness!!!

By Justin Sondak in Arts & Entertainment on Oct 19, 2005 4:00PM

Last week the Chicago Theatre announced they would expand their beautiful old selves by building a new underground black box theater on the historic site. Owner-operator TheaterWorks endeavors to bring more intimate works to one of the Loop’s most recognizable landmarks, further elevating the downtown theater district and drawing more attention to their talented neighbors. What’s not to like?

What’s not to like?? The inaugural production for this space will be: Shear Madness. Chicagoist saw this show a few years ago with friends who still haven’t completely forgiven us. This murder mystery set in a hair salon strings together vaguely humorous riffs on local issues and idiosyncrasies—“I would have parked there, but I didn’t have one of those zone stickers.” Once they’ve run out of ideas, a hairdresser turns up dead and a private investigator interrogates the audience ‘witnesses.’ You know it’s going to be a long night when a reference to Michael Bolton’s haircut gets the biggest laughs of the evening. Imagining Shear Madness as a snuff play, one that employs lots of out-of-work actors for a very short time, was funnier than anything we saw that dreadful night.

This won’t be the first time Chicago is subjected to this type of pop torture. Shear Madness enjoyed an inexplicably long run (1982-1999) at the theatre formerly known as The Blackstone. If we’re lucky, this run will be much, much briefer.

We’re your friends, and we implore you to please Just Say No to this impending disaster, the Cats of the sketch comedy world. Put your $42.50 to better use. There are plenty of fine, local alternatives in this town.