Can A Visit From Dr. Phil Be Far Behind?

By Scott Smith in Arts & Entertainment on Oct 20, 2005 5:44PM

Attention television and movie also-rans: please stay out of Chicago.

We know our city’s on the radar of the coastal tastemakers as of late (Thanks, Vince!) but does that mean in addition to the spreads in People magazine on hot shopping destinations, we also have to put up with Ashton Kutcher and Tony Danza?

In the wake of Freddie Prinze Jr.’s show set is faux Chicago, Kutcher has decided that what the world needs is a sitcom loosely based on aspects of his life.

“30 Year-Old Grandpa” is a pilot that Kutcher’s production company is making for Fox about a Chicago club owner who marries a woman older than he is. The hilarity theoretically centers on how close in age he is to her kids, one of whom discovers she’s pregnant! Hence, the grandpa-ness! We’re having a high-concept orgasm just thinking about it. Or an aneurysm. One of the two. Next up from Kutcher? A reality show on Bravo called Trucker Hats and Fedoras that takes place in a haberdashery.

If that weren’t enough, Tony Danza’s coming to town. According to Bill Zwecker, he’ll air his afternoon talk show (no, really he has one) live from Chicago on November 14th through the 16th. He’ll also be in town on October 29th to tape “Chicago-themed segments.”

What original comedic concepts does Angela’s housekeeper have in store for both his viewers? A “Taxicab Confessions” sketch! And who wants to bet against Tony filming himself chowing down on Chicago-style pizza or visiting Wrigley? Or maybe something involving gangsters! Oh, the possibilities are endless. And sad.