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Tilting At Windmills

By Scott Smith in News on Oct 21, 2005 8:05PM

Chicagoist believes there’s no glory in picking a fight with a bunch of little girls—and fictional ones at that. But apparently the Chicago-based Pro-Life Action League disagrees.

The group has announced their plans to picket the American Girl stores because of its connection with Girls, Inc. The organization runs programs that help prevent teen pregnancy, promote literacy, avoid drugs, and develop self-esteem and leadership. Sounds good to us.

So what’s PLAL’s problem? Well, the site also believes that young women should have access to information on birth control and abortion. They’re also upset because, according to Michnews.com, they believe the group “favors lesbian and bi-sexual practices.”

2005_10_21_americangirl.jpgWhat’s American Girl’s connection to all this? They offer a bracelet for sale as part of their “I Can” campaign. The bracelets sell for a dollar and seventy cents of every dollar goes to Girls, Inc. programs. Unless American Girl agrees to stop donating money to Girls, Inc., in the next two weeks, the PLAL has promised to stage a boycott and picket the American Girl stores in Chicago and New York.

As you might imagine, Chicagoist has some problems with this.

To paraphrase an old Elayne Boosler joke: Chicagoist took four years of algebra and we never do math. Having information on birth control doesn’t encourage sex. And don’t get us started on encouraging ignorance about sexual health in general.

Also, if the money from the sale of these bracelets was going toward Girls Inc. programs like “5 Easy Steps To Becoming A Lesbian” or “EZ Abortions Inc.”, we’d concede that PLAL has a right to be upset (we might still disagree with their thesis but hey it’s a free country). But the money from these bracelets is only going to Girls Inc.’s programs that encourage leadership; science, math and technology education; and athletic skills. No donations are made to programs dealing with sexual health or orientation. Apparently, PLAL thinks it’d be better for young women to be lost, dumb and lazy.

Plus, while Girls, Inc. does believe that young women should have access “to community resources for dealing with issues of sexual orientation” that’s about the only reference to the subject on their site outside of a book list. Saying that they’re "pro-lesbian" is like saying Chicagoist is "pro-rectal vegetable intrusions" just because of one Overheard post.

But we do have to give the PLAL credit for not just complaining about a problem, but also offering a solution that’s just as creepy and filled with faux empowerment as the American Girls series.

The PLAL has created its own line of faux female empowerment characters called A Life Of Faith. The books seem tailor-made for a Robert Altman screen treatment as all the girls seem to be interrelated. Their flagship character is Elsie, whose daughter is Violet, who is cousin to Millie, who is friends with Laylie.

The only thing is…doesn’t Elsie look a little um, old? If she’s a girl then Chicagoist is still in college. And isn’t it glossing over the issue of slavery to say that their African-American character Laylie has problems “dealing with discrimination?”

Thank goodness the PLAL picked such a slow Chicago news day to make their announcement or we’d have never heard about this.