Modernity 1, Amish 0
By Sam Bakken in News on Nov 10, 2005 8:46PM
We've always wondered when the damn Amish would get their due. HELLO-OH! Join the 19th century, at least. We know you don't exactly think of technology, or us technophiles, as evil, but we do know you think you rank a bit higher on the holiness scale. We don't get the whole philosophy anyway. If it's not hypocritical, it seems at least a bit suspect. Not that we really care (hey, more technology for the rest of us), but don't you drive your quaint little carriages down paved roads laid by technology you wouldn't allow in your cute communities? And aren't those "simpler" communities protected by mustachioed men that carry guns and button their shirt when they get dressed? And if you muthafuckas bring polio back for a U.S. tour, so help you God.
Holy tirade! Did you miss us? At least we won't have to worry about any complaints (you know, because a 12-volt battery won't power a computer that can access the Internet).