Chicagoist Overheard
By Chicagoist Overheard in Miscellaneous on Dec 1, 2005 7:15PM
It's been too long, friends! But Overheard is back in action, thanks to so many juicy submissions. Keep the hotness coming this-a-way; as always, you can reach us at overheard at chicagoist dot com. This week: the wheels on the biz-us, furry muffs, drag queens and murders—in other words, the Christmas season has started in earnest.
Guy: If you came in wearing a fur, I would judge you.
Girl 1: What about a stole?
Girl 2: Or a muff?
Guy: A muff?!?!
Girl 2: Not that muff; the kind you put your hands in.
Guy: You say 'furry muff' and expect me to think of something that you stick your hands in?
++
Guy: I'm still getting used to the city, but in general I like it. Except for the West Side.
Guy's friend: Why, is it sketchy?
Guy: A little bit. But, like, there's this one street, Milwaukee, that goes diagonally. It's totally
fucked up. I get lost there every time because of it.
++
Girl 1: Which direction is the lake from here?
Girl 2: It is east.
Girl 1: I know it usually is, but it moves.
++
Drunk woman in the back seat (to a young man sitting near her): How many wheels is on the bus?
Young man: Four.
Drunk woman: That's right! Now tell me, how many wheels is on the BIZ-us?
Young man: Four?
Drunk woman: No, you wrong! They's none!
++
Man: I am going to wear my Free Martha t-shirt on Friday.
Woman: You have one of those?
Man: Hell yeah, she was a political prisoner I actually give a shit about.
Woman: Oh, for fuck's sake.
++
Girl 1: I'm having a really hard time finding an apartment I like. I mean, I went to look at one last night, and apparently somebody had been murdered in there not too long ago!
Girl 2: Hello, this is Chicago! Nearly every apartment has had a murder in it!
++
Somebody on Michigan Ave: There were drag queens coming out the wazoo!
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College Trixie on her cell phone: Hi mom. I really need to talk to you. I'm about to have a potentially life changing moment. I'm going downtown to meet Beyonce.
To her friends a few minutes later: I brought make-up just in case.
++
Guy 1: I'm kind of worried about the game this weekend..
Guy 2: The Packers? They suck!
Guy 1: Yeh, they keep losing.. but only by a few points each time. I think Favre is just too agressive. He doesn't have anyone to throw to any more. But you never know..
Guy 2: Yeh, I've always thought that Brett Favre is overrated.
++
Student to friends: Ugh, politics. I'm just DONE, you know? I don't like Democrats OR Republicans. The thing about Democrats is that they're just shitty in a different way, you know what I mean? What I mean by that is ... I don't like Democrats, Republicans, POLITICIANS, you know? I'll get involved in politics in some non-governmental way, you know what I mean? I'm not VOTING... Jaded? Yeah, I think that's a good word...What does it mean, exactly?
Same student later: I think this is my last life. After this I'm going to go wherever souls go when they're done. I mean that seriously. I really BELIEVE that. I'm just, like, I'm DONE...You have two or three left, I think. Do you ever think about that? Just a couple.