The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

Topinka Is Fired Up

By Amy Hart in News on Dec 1, 2005 3:50PM


As we mentioned yesterday, and in early November, Judy Baar Topinka wants to be the next governor of Illinois, and she is delivering the smackdown on Governor Blagojevich.

From Cicero to Peoria, yesterday Topinka declared she would "take out" Blago and challenged him with such threats as "I'm coming for you!" and "Let the fight begin!" Wow, sounds like she is out to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.

Topinka may want to focus some of her anger towards people besides Blagojevich. Her public announcement to run for governor was accompanied by a challenge from abortion rights leaders for her to fully explain her stand on abortion. Topinka has previously said that she is pro-choice, but that she supports some restrictions, such as parental notification for minors. She has not yet responded to the request to clarify her stance, but based on her new ballsy spirit, we are hoping it will be something along the lines of, "You want some of this?!"

She also might want to throw some fighting words in the direction of her Republican primary opponents, some of whom have dubbed her "Topinkavich" or "Topinkajovich" due to what they feel are her Blago like moderate stances. But we're just not feeling Topinkavich or Topinkajovich--they have no flow, and they are too long. Besides, both nicknames remind us of Brangelina or TomKat, and thus would only work if Blago and Topinka were a couple. And we don't want to go there.

We hereby grant Judy Baar Topinka the nickname of "Big Red" because she is a political big shot and she has red hair. Yeah, we know, pure poetry. 2005_12_bigred.jpg But just think of the awesome marketing potential such a nickname affords her. She lags Blago in campaign funds, so giving the profitable Wrigley Company a shoutout might not be a bad idea. Plus, she can pass out Big Red gum at all of her campaign stops. Sure, it's no Oberweis with his free magically delicious ice cream, but we'll take free sugar anyway we can get it.