Frisky Business

By Benjy Lipsman in News on Dec 16, 2005 7:20PM

Bears officials have announced that all fans attending Sunday night's Bears-Falcons game at Soldier field will be subjected to a pat-down by security as they enter the stadium.

The NFL enacted this policy this season to in response to global terrorism. Huh?!?! Global terrorism? If that's truly the case, then why has it taken 4 years since September 11th to enact this policy? And why has the NFL allowed Bears game to be played at Soldier Field all season long as the Bears and Chicago Park District negotiated over who's picking up the tab?

Maybe the NFL has access to that extra secret intelligence that the White House doesn't even share with Congress, because we've never heard anything about al Queda plans for attacking football games with beach balls. Or umbrellas.

The NFL states that they are trying to prevent "suicide bombers with explosive devices hidden under their clothing" from using the games in terrorism attacks. So why not simply look for explosives, then?

Among the prohibited items include: alcoholic beverages, bottles and cans, balloons and beach balls, confetti, laser pens and pointers, noise-making devices such as horns and whistles, umbrellas and video cameras.

Maybe it's just us, but Chicagoist thinks maybe security would be better off just stopping, ya know, explosives? How much of a threat are confetti, beach balls and video cameras? How much extra time and money will go into confiscating all this other contraband?

It seems it would be be less intrusive and most cost effective in the long run to install explosive sniffing equipment like they use in airports. Then hand-search those who set off detectors, rather than subjecting all 60,000+ fans dressed in layers upon layers of warm clothing to searches.