Keno: The Solution To All Our Problems?

By Amy Hart in News on Jan 13, 2006 3:33PM

Do you ever go out to eat or drink in our fair city and think to yourself, “This is great, but it’s just not Vegas enough for me?” Well, dear friends, help is here. As we mentioned earlier this week, Governor Blagojevich has proposed letting customers play keno in bars and restaurants throughout the state, with proceeds going towards paying off bonds for school and construction projects.

Critics and political opponents are not happy about Blago’s idea, especially considering that a political donor of Blago’s may receive the keno contract, and the estimated $80 million in revenue that keno would generate is a figure that was calculated in part by a firm trying to win the contract.

But here’s our big beef—keno sucks! In an unscientific Chicagoist poll*, nobody ever wins at keno. The odds of winning are horrible. And if we start carding people who enter casinos to keep out compulsive gamblers, will we have to card people who go into restaurants with keno too? Of course, it would give smokers something else to do to occupy their time, and if by a miracle they did win, they could then afford to buy cigarettes.

* Chicagoist and everybody Chicagoist asked has never won at keno.