Muggers Go for the Low Hanging Chads

By Matt Wood in News on Feb 9, 2006 5:09PM

Chicago police have issued a warning about a string of strong-arm robberies in the Lakeview area. Apparently groups of two to four men are targeting men walking home alone in the wee hours on weekends, stealing wallets and demanding ATM card PINs. The robberies are all the more sinister because the alleged assailants are black guys(!) robbing white guys(!) in their own neighborhood(!) Chicagoist will be sure to pass along headlining news stories about robberies in other neighborhoods on the south and west sides.

Not to side with the robbers, but they have a good strategy. The area in question is bounded by Lawrence, the lakefront, Diversey, and Damen, so pretty much the entire Lakeview/Wrigleyville frat boy theme park of bars and clubs. Single guys that look like they're walking home in a hurricane probably make pretty easy marks for muggers. In fact, Chicagoist is amazed we made it home some nights with all our finances intact back in our bar-hoppin' days.

We'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that you don't have to take your entire George Costanza wallet with you when you're going out to get blasted. If you insist on getting housed beyond the point of being able to run to safety (or having the good sense to stick to well-lighted areas), you can limit the damage by carrying a mugger's wallet with just your ID and enough cash to keep you in Old Style and Parliaments for the night. This should reduce those embarrassing "I left my tab open at Casey Moran's" walks of shame the next day too.